


Don’t Touch Me (Please, Don’t Let Go)

by wordjunket



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Basically touching can be an issue for him, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Eren’s mostly a good boyfriend, Fluff, Happy Ending, Levi has slight haphephobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Top Eren Yeager, fairly explicit and semi realistic sex, switching POV, they work it out in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 15:30:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5876221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordjunket/pseuds/wordjunket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a university student who keeps mostly to himself (apart from his friends Hange and Erwin). He has a mild case of Haphephobia, meaning he finds it difficult to both initiate contact with people and have people touching him, despite often wishing for it. </p><p>Eren, who thrives on constant contact, initially believes Levi to dislike him. Falling in love with the man almost at first sight, Eren soon learns that sometimes the road to physical intimacy is paved in learning the feel of your partner's skin, one inch at a time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don’t Touch Me (Please, Don’t Let Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I managed to finish something! 
> 
> WARNING! I just want to warn anyone before reading this that within this story Levi does display a degree of anxiety symptoms and thoughts during numerous instances. I’d hate for this to trigger someone so if you find discussion of such things triggering, please reconsider reading. 
> 
> On a side note, some may say that Levi seems to ‘get over’ his anxiety fairly easily. I’d like to say, no, it’s just about learning to deal with it for him. Also, a lot of his challenges and thoughts are based of personal experiences so, please be respectful of that. 
> 
> The POV shifts between sections occasionally, between Levi and Eren, but I think it’s fairly clear without obvious indicators, but - I wrote it, so - let me know if that’s tripping people up and I’ll add in flags :) 
> 
> Otherwise, hope you enjoy. Not going to lie, like, almost 10k is sex. I am apparently shameless.

Levi shifted slightly in his seat, sitting up straight for a moment in order to stretch his back, before leaning back down over his study notes. Even though the semester was only a few weeks in, it never hurt to get on top of his study notes early. Especially as this was his last year at Trost University. Giving his fingers a quick flex around his pen, he spared a glance up at the limited view around him.

Rose Library was the largest of the seven libraries on campus, comprised of five floors and two winding passageways guaranteed to hold lost first years, it was predominantly used by arts students with too much time on their hands. Levi, himself, was a business major, but the Maria library that was located in the business school building was always full of snotty little shits who thought they knew everything when it came to investing and marketing portfolios. If Levi had to overhear one more conversation about crashing economies or fluctuating exchange rates he’d throw one of his over one hundred fucking dollar textbooks at someone.

So, he had managed to find a small nook of salvation on the third floor of Rose, hidden behind a shelf of old books he was pretty sure hadn’t been checked out for at least a decade, was a round table with wide square chairs surrounding it. It was simple, clean and as far as he was concerned, _his_.

Breathing in a small sigh, he turned back to his notes, prepared to continue with his study, only to be surprised by the sound of approaching footsteps.

Looking up, an annoyingly tall guy suddenly rounded the bookshelves, his messy I-just-woke-up hair a dark brown and eyes an unusual blue green colour. A large smile spread across his face as their eyes locked for a moment, before Levi looked back at his notes in the hopes the guy would get the picture and leave.

“Hey, sorry to bother you.”

_Oh god, he was a talker._

“Then don’t.” Levi said bluntly, not bothering to glance up.

“It’s just, everywhere else is either full or really noisy and I have this quiz at the end of the week that I seriously need to put some time into memorising or I’ll completely crash and burn.” The guy rattled off, either unhearing of Levi’s comment or ignoring it.

“Do you mind? I didn’t ask for your life story.” Levi snapped, glancing up at the guy again. The mean part of him was slightly pleased to see that smile loose some of its brightness at his less than welcoming attitude.

“Listen, I just need a table to study at. I won’t be any bother, promise. I don’t listen to music or click my pen or anything.” The guy took a step closer, his face a bizarre mixture of pleading and determination.

Levi sent him a blank look, carefully keeping the exasperated sigh in his throat from escaping.

“Please.”

He was pretty sure those eyes weren’t as blue just a moment ago. There was something about them that made the irritated remark kindly informing this stranger to fuck off from Levi’s study spot to get muddled around and caught in his throat. Maybe it was the slightly pathetic slump of the guys’ shoulders or the way his hands were clasping at the strap across his chest for his bag.

Either way, Levi didn’t know what possessed him for that split second of speech, but it must have been something from hell, because he instead found himself saying:

“Just shut up and sit down.”

It was like the fucking sun shining from behind a cloud on a piss poor day when your socks get wet first thing in the morning and you’re stuck in air conditioning reminiscent of the fucking Arctic all day.

“Thank you so much!” The guy pulled out the chair opposite Levi, sitting down heavily and dumping his bag on the table, earning himself a scowl when the vibrations made Levi’s highlighter almost roll from the tabletop.

“If you disturb me, I’ll not hesitate to stab you.” He held up his pen threateningly, half hoping the guy would flee in fear. Instead, he actually chuckled, as if Levi was exaggerating - he was only half serious, no way would he sully his own pen, he’d take the guy’s to do the deed.

“I’m Eren, by the way.” He offered a cheerful wave.

Levi just stared at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, experienced enough at dealing with morons to know that this would fully convey how much he did not give a shit.

“Figured we should at least know each other's names as we’re study table buddies and all.” The guy - _Eren_ \- just continued, as if Levi was an active participant in the conversation. Frankly, he was more preoccupied with tucking his legs under his own chair so as to avoid any potential accidental contact, Eren looked like the kind of person who took up the entirety of the space underneath the table.

“I’m doing a major in criminology, with a minor in psychology. I wanna know all about how people who commit horrific crimes tick. Not exactly the usual career aspirations, I know.” He laughed slightly in a self-deprecating manner, but there was suddenly a fierce excitement in his eyes that made them almost seem golden in colour.

“Oi, brat.” Levi broke in, causing the guy to blink slightly in surprise.

“Shut up or get lost.”

Levi expected him to at least be slightly offended, but if anything he looked amused again before giving him a small salute and beginning to pull his books out.

Levi heaved a heavy sigh aloud this time, uncaring for what the guy thought about him as he placed his highlighter back where it had been sitting before its bid for freedom.

He was honestly surprised when he glanced at his phone some time later to see that almost two hours had passed and he’d finished writing up all his notes for his course. Sitting up straight to stretch out his back once more, his eyes flicked to Eren who was busy scribbling away on his notebook, brown hair even messier than it had been when he’d first appeared, something telling Levi that it was more a product of frustrated hands running through it then sleeping oddly on it this time.

Quickly, he began to pack up his stuff, thoughts turning to what was in the pantry at home for him to eat as an afternoon snack.

He was just pulling his bag over his shoulder, free hand pushing in his chair, when he was pulled from his thoughts.

“Hey, you never told me your name.”

Glancing over, Levi raised a silent eyebrow at the small smile on Eren’s face.

“Hey, if you don’t want to be known in my head as grumpy study buddy, then I’m gonna need a name of some kind.” The kid grinned at him.

Levi rolled his eyes, as if he cared what this kid mentally called him. The likelihood of them ever meeting again on such a huge campus was pretty minimal.

_Still._

“Levi.”

He then turned on his heel and left his once secret, now not so secret, study spot on the third floor of Rose library.

~*~

Reaching out for his teacup, Levi took a small sip and savoured the delicious flavour that burst across his taste buds. Putting his teacup back on the coffee table, he settled down into the squishy couch, eyes resting on the TV screen where a fairly young Jackie Chan was demonstrating a complicated looking sequence of martial arts moves.

This was one of his favourite ways to spend an evening, when he had no study that needed immediate attention and work was leaving him alone. Sitting in front of the TV with no housemates around to bother him or badger after him about not being out on a Friday night, one of the many movies of the Asian cinema persuasion on before him and a steaming hot cup of tea just waiting to be drunk. It was as close to therapy as he was ever going to get.

Shifting slightly in his snuggled down position, he rested his head against the couch arm, slate eyes glued to the screen as the actors fairly flew through the air as they engaged in battle.

“Levi!”

Heart just about jumping from his chest, he scrambled to turn around, peering over the back of the couch with wide, surprised eyes.

Upon seeing who it was, he groaned loudly and obviously in frustration.

“No. Go away.” He flipped back around to the screen, determined that the new presence in the room wasn’t really there if he just didn’t pay it any attention.

“Levi, don’t be like that.” Arms came around from the back of the couch and encircled him for a moment before he was squirming away, pinching at the arms to get them to release him.

“Shitty glasses let go.” He squirmed to try and escape them, but they just laughed loudly and, before he could stop them, they hopped over the back of the couch so that they could stretch out beside him.

“This is your Friday night, so lame, Levi.” They sent him a grin, hair messy in a ponytail while their glasses sat crookedly on their nose.

“If you don’t like it, go away.” He insisted uselessly. Heart thudding a little louder in his chest than was normal. He pushed the unease away with great practice and forced himself to calm down.

It didn’t matter how many times one told Hange to go away, they were immune to the words. Any kind of resistance, whether it be verbal or to do with their scientific research, was met with unyielding persistence until they won and got their way.

It was both a remarkably admirable trait and annoying as fuck.

“So, what’re we watching tonight? I’m guessing by this needlessly long and complicated kung fu scene that it’s a ‘martial arts spectacular’ - oh! Young Jackie Chan alert.” They sent Levi a wink and laughed loudly as he glared at them, hoping that this would be the time they gave into his glare of death and fled in fear.

Sadly, from the way Hange slumped back into the couch, one leg tucked under them so that their knee was pressed to Levi’s thigh, he didn’t think today would be the day his glare worked.

~*~

There was literally no way in which the history of employee agreements could be taught that didn’t make Levi want to shove his pen into someone's eye socket. As it was, he had so far read three pages of the week's reading, the third page he was pretty sure he’d read twice now, but he still had no idea what it said.

As he gazed at the blurring words on paper, he could almost feel the sleep crawling up his neck and his eyes sliding shut. If he fell asleep and hit his head on the textbook before him, he was chucking it out the window, reinforced glass wouldn’t be able to stop him.

He was saved from a huge fine for property damage by an irritating voice suddenly calling out his name.

Snapping his head up and blinking rapidly, he found himself staring at the profile of his new ‘library buddy’. He considered slamming his head into his textbook anyway, as it might knock him out and he’d not have to deal with the guy.

“How’s it going, Levi?” Eren asked with a cheerful smile, taking the last few steps to the small table that was once Levi’s sanctuary.

“It was great until you turned up.” He snapped grumpily, still smarting slightly from the knowledge that he’d once again have to share his secret spot in the library.

“Don’t be like that.” Eren grinned widely as he sat himself down noisily.

“You looked like you were about to fall into your textbook anyway, so don’t pretend I’m interrupting anything important.”

Levi just glared at him; refusing to acknowledge the small blush he could feel warming his cheeks.

“I don’t remember inviting you to come sit here again.” He switched tactics, and idea forming in his mind.

“I like this seat.” Eren shrugged, not even looking at him as he rummaged around in his bag.

“This is a private table booking.” Levi tried.

“No, it’s not.” Eren snorted, shooting him an amused look. “I know all those are on the other side of the library where they have lockable doors to keep people out.”

Clearly, Eren wasn’t a first year, much to Levi’s annoyance.

“It’s not even busy today.” Levi grumbled in a last ditch effort to remove his unwanted company.

“This seat is out of the way.” Eren twirled a pen between his fingers while giving Levi a thoughtful look. “Besides, if I didn’t sit here, you wouldn’t have anyone to bitch at and the book shelves hide your glare from everyone else.”

Levi justifiably sent him one of his nastiest glares.

Eren had the audacity to laugh.

Turning back to his textbook, Levi in vainly attempted to read and take in what the words printed before him were. However, historical employee agreements immediately began to kick his ass once more and before he knew it his eyes had glazed over and he was once more in danger of face planting in the pages.

“You wouldn’t happen to be looking over legal sanctions, would you?”

Blinking, Levi looked up at Eren blankly.

“It’s just,” he continued when Levi said nothing. “That’s about how I feel when I have to look at them. So, I wondered if you were doing some kind of law subject?”

“I’m studying business, you shitty brat.” Levi pushed himself upright so that his posture, which had slumped without him noticing, was once more proper before he sent a contemplating look at his textbook. There was really no way he was going to be able to take in any of the information before him at the moment, his mind was just burnt out from not enough sleep the night before and Hange’s stupid insistence that they conduct some ridiculous experiment involving fluorescent liquids under ultraviolet lights well into the previous night.

“Oh really? Cool, I have a friend studying that.” Eren sent him a grin, arms crossing on top of the textbook he had set down, as he clearly settled in for a conversation rather than study.

“Good for you.” Levi grumbled, reaching over to where he had set his own bag on a spare seat and proceeded to begin packing away his stuff.

“Leaving so soon?” Eren asked, something about his voice not making the teasing sound quite right.

“I have things to do that don’t involve wasting my time talking to you.” He stood, neatly pushing in his chair and going to move around the other to leave.

“Hey,” a sudden hand on his forearm had him freezing in place, looking at the still seated person who had dared to place a hand upon him.

“You should get some sleep, you look wiped out. Would hate for you to actually end up drooling over your notes.”

“I don’t drool.” Was all Levi could think to say as he was released, turning on autopilot and escaping before Eren did something else weird.

He didn’t stop until he had walked all the way to his house, up the short set of stairs and down the hallway into his room. Finally, he sat on his bed, backpack still on, and looked at his arm with a frown.

Who just reached out and touched someone like that? He didn’t even know Eren’s last name and the guy was touching him. It was weird. People should at least know something about the other person before they went invading their space.

A terrible thought occurred to him and an icy shiver ran down his spine.

Was that normal?

Maybe it _was_ normal for strangers bordering on acquaintances to touch each other like that. Eren had offered him advice, which was normally reserved for an act between friends, or within doctor-patient-confidentiality, or in a rom-com with a random cafe waiter or bench-sharer in a park.

Maybe it was normal behaviour between normal people and Levi was just blowing this way out of proportion?

The thought was both comforting and demoralising.

Levi knew he was a little bit odd. His behaviour not strange enough to be classified as needing therapy or medication to help him function ‘normally’ in society. But strange enough that when he was sixteen and the boy he had been crushing on all year finally cornered him at a party and tried to kiss him, he had shoved the guy away and was subsequently called a ‘frigid bitch’. The guy went on to sleep with the front-runner of the football team in the basement. Levi went home immediately and spent the rest of the night trying to breathe calmly as his skin prickled with cold sweat and his heart tried to beat out of his chest.

So, he had a bit of difficulty when it came to physical contact, everyone had their hang-ups.

Running his fingertips down his opposite forearm, the phantom feel of Eren’s hand on his skin was still there.

Curling up slightly on his bed, he forced his mind to clear, focusing on breathing in time with the up and down motion of his hand.

~*~

Glancing at the clock, Levi let out a sigh. Only three hours more and he’d be finished work, free for an afternoon of tea drinking and watching whatever crappy movie Hange picked that night.

Straightening the stand of new releases near where the register was located, he glanced around the mostly empty bookshop. Well, it was meant to be a bookshop, but it was located in an old two-story house that had been filled to the brim with bookshelves and paperbacks. He was pretty sure that the thing used as a counter which the register sat on, was actually the old dining room table. Located just two blocks from where the university campus officially ended, ‘The 104th’ was the most popular bookshop in the area, rivalling even that of the on campus store due to its extensive range and slightly cheaper prices.

He had been lucky enough to work the morning shift, which resulted in less people in the store as most normal students - who made up the vast majority of patrons - were still sleeping at 10am.

“Levi?”

Spinning around, he almost groaned out loud at the sight of Eren standing before him. He was suddenly mourning his need to fix the crooked books some stupid woman had messed up carelessly as he had left the safety of behind the counter.

Levi had actually avoided going to his once secret spot in Maria Library for the last three days, still not entirely sure what to do about his reaction to Eren touching him. In his state of confusion he’d opted for avoiding the issue and person rather than thinking about it too hard.

“Eren.” He said, pretty sure the annoyance had leaked into his voice enough for the other to hear loud and clear if the slight quirking of Eren’s lips was anything to go by.

“What’re you doing out here?” Eren asked, clearly ignoring the way Levi was slowly edging back towards the safety of the counter.

“I work here.” He said reluctantly.

“Oh, awesome.” Eren grinned, taking a step closer to Levi’s retreating form.

“I’m actually looking for a specific book, would you help me out?” He continued, oblivious.

“What book did you need?” Levi asked, deciding that the sooner he helped Eren find what he was looking for, the faster he’d leave Levi in peace once more.

“It’s a book for one of my courses-”

“We don’t sell textbooks.” Levi cut him off, irritated mostly because he had to tell someone this at least twice every shift, more at the beginning and end of each semester.

“Yeah, I know. It’s not a textbook, it’s a novel.” Eren said, amused. “It’s a book by this guy called Oscar Wilde.” He said, rummaging in his ever-present bag, presumably for the title of the novel.

“The Picture of Dorian Grey.” Levi said, slipping away from where Eren had been slowly cornering him against a bookshelf and heading over to the classics section.

“Hey, yeah, that’s it.” Eren said behind him, but Levi merely scanned the neatly alphabetised shelf before him and pulled the novel in question from its home. Turning, he raised an eyebrow at the pair of eyes watching him rather than the book in his hands.

“Was there anything else you needed?” He asked, remembering that he was still on the clock and he needed to be polite to customers, no matter how much they irritated him.

“You wouldn’t happen to be doing ENGL2601, would you?” Eren asked, head cocking slightly to the side.

“I’m a business student.” Levi replied, sure he’d already told the annoying guy this.

“Yeah I remember you saying. It’s just, you knew the book I needed right off the top of your head.”

“Anyone who knows anything about nineteenth century literature knows that Oscar Wilde’s only real claim to novel fame is The Picture of Dorian Grey.” Levi took a glance around them. “I also work in a bookshop.” He said pointedly.

Eren blinked for a moment before he burst into loud laughter, startling a few of the other patrons and receiving a disapproving look from a little old man who stood in a corner surrounded by books about bird species. Slightly startled himself, Levi stood there awkwardly for a moment before turning and retreating behind the counter, book still in hand.

“I didn’t think you were doing English Literature, either?” Levi asked as he scanned the book into the system, eyes slightly downcast.

“Oh, I’m not. But I have a few electives from the Arts department I can do, and I saw the Sherlock Holmes movies over the summer while I was trying to decide on my electives and, well.” Glancing up, there was a slightly bashful look on Eren’s face, his hand rising to scratch at his cheek in what could only be described as embarrassment.

“I kinda hoped we’d be reading one of the Sherlock Holmes novels, but when I looked at the book list, it wasn’t on there and it was too late to change so…” He shrugged helplessly.

“Don’t you think you should have checked the list before signing onto the class?”

“Probably.” Eren agreed with another chuckle as he pulled out his wallet.

“Nine, ninety-nine.” Levi read out the price.

Eren fiddled with his wallet for a moment before pulling out a few bills and handing them over to him, their fingers accidently brushing as they transferred the cash. Levi felt the familiar speeding up of his heart and he quickly shoved the money into the register to distract himself, pulling out the change, which he handed back, careful that their fingers didn’t brush this time.

“Hey,” Eren started, not yet moving to put away his change, beautiful eyes staring at Levi’s face as though he was trying to read his mind or something. It didn’t make something squirm in Levi’s gut, he swore.

“I was-” The sudden loud dinging sound from the tall clock tower in the centre of the university campus sounded out faintly, catching his attention.

“Oh, shit. Is it that late already?” Eren exclaimed, eyes widening slightly as he shoved both wallet and loose change into his bag carelessly.

“I’m going to be late for my next class. Sorry, Levi, I’ll catch you later, okay?” He asked, picking up the novel that had been sitting on the counter between them.

“Sure.” Levi said, not quite sure what else he could say.

Eren waved as he all but ran out the door and Levi watched through the front window as he took off down the street in the direction of campus.

What the hell was Levi getting himself involved in? Honestly.

~*~

Rubbing a thumb over the cover of the novel, Eren sighed loudly. Shifting slightly so that he was more comfortable where his head rested on his pillow in his dorm room, he stared at the plain white ceiling above him, his mind more agreeably occupied.

Eren would be the first to admit that sometimes he could be a little bit impulsive when it came to interacting with people. The first friend he’d made when he’d entered school had resulted in them as strangers in the morning, but by the end of the day he had been hanging off their shoulders and completely invading their personal space. Seeing as Armin was still friends’ with him all the way into university, he was pretty sure that was a success story.

Though it had resulted in some people calling him names, and as he got older they divulged into calling him an attention whore and even those who believed themselves to be bullies liked to try and spread rumours about him slutting around the school. It was complete bullshit and it didn’t really bother him too much, it certainly wasn’t something that couldn’t be resolved behind the sports shed with a few well-aimed punches and kicks, that’s for sure.

In fact, he’d never really viewed his need for physical interaction with just about everyone he liked as a bad thing before.

Until now, that was.

Eren had experienced the first sweet taste of love when he was fifteen and again when he was seventeen. He’d also had his fair share of crushes on random people and friends alike. So he was well aware when his eyes landed on a smallish guy hiding behind a bookshelf like it was his own little kingdom, that his heart thumping loudly against his ribs and the warm feeling that immediately curled in his chest were signs of infatuation.

Then they’d spoken and, well, that was it for Eren. The guy - Levi - was almost brutally blunt in what he said and didn’t seem to care about what damage his words could do. Eren was sure some people would say he was mentally unstable that rather than being affronted or insulted by Levi’s words, he was just charmed. With his unusual undercut hairstyle and his gorgeously slanted grey, almost silver, eyes. There was something adorable about someone who looked so sweet and little opening their mouth and spewing out complaints and bold observations. Most people would probably want to put as much distance between themselves and the guy if they didn’t burst into tears immediately or punch him out.

Eren kinda wanted to wrap his arms around Levi and squeeze him tightly.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Armin’s voice came from the other side of their shared dorm, causing Eren to turn his head and blink at him.

“About what?”

“Well, if you want some time alone with the fine works of Oscar Wilde, I promise not to judge you.” Armin nodded towards where Eren still held the book, unconsciously still rubbing a thumb back and forwards over the cover.

“Har har har.” Eren said dryly, sitting up properly and putting the book gently on his bedside table.

“Seriously though, what’s with the book? I didn’t think you were that into the English Lit class you were taking?” Armin asked.

“I’m not. I just picked it up today and happened to be holding it when I was thinking about something else.” Erne shrugged, pulling out his phone casually and aimlessly scrolling through the menu’s like he was actually looking for something.

“Oh really?” Armin didn’t sound at all convinced.

“Hey, don’t we have to leave soon if we’re going to meet everyone on time?” Eren changed the subject, relaxing slightly when Armin only gave him a pointed look; clearly saying this conversation was merely shelved for the moment but allowed himself to be moved along.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. I’m ready to go when you are.” Eren stood, shoving his phone and wallet into the pockets of his jeans and reaching out to clap Armin on the shoulder.

Armin grumbled something about presentation not being Eren’s priority but quickly changed clothes before they headed off.

The Underground was the resident university bar, full of dark corners and sticky tables with three pool tables pushed to one side of the dance floor. It was the preferred hangout for most of Trost University’s students thanks to a combination of its easy location and cheap drinks.

Glancing around the room, Eren grinned as his eyes landed on a familiar huddle of people squished around a small high table.

“I’ll grab us some drinks.” Armin patted Eren’s arm for a moment before heading for the bar, Eren himself heading for their friends.

Upon reaching them, he slipped his arms around Mikasa’s waist and gave her a tight hug, earning himself a small pat on where his hands were clasped together.

“Hi, Eren.” She said, voice familiar in its stoicism.

A chorus of familiar greetings sounded out to him as he released her before moving to embrace the others standing and sitting around the small high table that was overcrowded with quickly emptying glasses. He leaned back from hugging Sasha only to see Jean standing beside her, to which they both pulled a face and Eren childishly poked out his tongue at him. No way were they about to embrace and be all buddy-buddy.

Moving back to Mikasa’s side, the others shuffled around slightly so that there was room for him to comfortably be included.

“Armin’s just grabbing us some drinks at the bar.” He said with a grin, jerking his finger over his shoulder towards said bar.

“Armin’s here with the drinks, actually.” Armin said from his elbow, causing Eren to spin around quickly with a yelp of surprise, much to the amusement of the others. Armin just smiled as he held out a beer for him as a peace offering.

Accepting the drink with a roll of the eyes, Eren turned and enquired as to how Mikasa’s classes were going as the others greeted Armin enthusiastically.

Eren had moved onto his third beer by the time Armin decided he was going to be an ass and Eren was pulled from a conversation with Sasha about the pros and cons of ramen noodles by a bony elbow digging into his side.

“Ow, what the hell, Armin!” He yelled, moving the whole half a step to the right he had available to him and rubbing at his side with the hand not currently clutching a beer bottle.

“I was just telling Marco and Jean about your new crush.” Armin said casually, voice slightly louder than usual, which could have been attributed to the alcohol he had been drinking, but was more likely to be in an effort to capture everyone's attention so that they could gang up on him collectively to get him to spill his guts.

“Like they’d care about that.” Eren muttered, knowing it was too late when the eyes of all his friends fixated on him curiously.

“You met someone?” Krista asked, voice warmly curious.

“I don’t know if I’d say it like that.” Eren hedged, awkwardly running a hand through his hair.

“Oh God,” Jean groaned loudly, leaning perhaps a bit too much into Marco for the number of drinks he’d had. “It’s not a professor or something, is it?” He asked, sounding both horrified and delighted. “You’re not about to regale us with tales of nasty, old man butt sex, are you?”

“What-No!” Eren snapped, sending him a glare as he started sniggering.

“But there is someone, right?” Marco asked, looking genuinely interested.

“Well,” Eren hesitated for a moment before he felt his cheeks heat under a blush. “I did meet this guy the other day. He’s really cute and he’s awfully blunt.” A small smile pulled at his lips unbidden.

“Where did you meet him?” Krista asked, ignoring the way the others cackled around them.

“In the library. His was the only table with a free spot, so I kinda just sat down and ignored when he tried to get me to leave.” Eren laughed slightly, warmth curling in his gut fondly.

“So have you asked him out yet?” Krista asked with a large smile.

“Ah, not exactly.” Erena said awkwardly.

“Lame.” Joan loudly exclaimed, tilting his beer so far to the side as he spoke that if it wasn’t for Marco quickly rightening it, he would have poured out whatever was left.

“Shut up,” Eren glared at him.

“Man up and ask him out, Eren.” Ymir said loudly, causing Sasha to burst into giggles from where she was leaning against the wall for support.

“Yeah, yeah.” Eren mumbled, trying to ignore the sniggering laughter of his friends. Quickly swinging back the remaining beer in the bottle, he wiped his free hand over his mouth.

“I’m going to get another beer.” He said, balancing his bottle on the overcrowded table with some difficulty.

Loud calls of drink orders were ignored as he headed to the bar. It was a good night to get drunk and it would serve the bastards right if he didn’t get them anything while he was up.

~*~

It had been a perfectly normal day for Levi. He’d gone to his morning lecture and sat through the tedious professor getting sidetracked by her own social life, _again_ , then he’d headed to the library to write out notes for his class before the tutorial that afternoon. All in all, it was a good start to the day.

It was when he’d been sitting there for almost an hour, when his annoying study buddy turned up, that it started getting weird.

To put it politely, Eren looked like shit. His hair was messy, and not the usual attractive bed hair he sported, but in an unwashed and kinda greasy from too much time in a bar sort of way. His clothes were completely rumpled, making Levi wonder if he’d slept in them. Sunglasses sat perched on his nose, only serving to highlight how pale his usually tan complexion was.

Wholly, he looked completely hungover.

“Big night?” He couldn’t resist asking, a slightly smirk pulling at his lips when Eren just groaned pitifully and dumped his bag on the table carelessly before falling to his knees and crawling under the table itself.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi asked, slightly alarmed that the kid was going to vomit on his shoes. Leaning back in his chair, he peaked under the table.

Eren had flopped himself on his stomach in the semi-dark space, crossing his arms and resting his forehead there with his sunglasses still on.

“M’ not gonna puke.” He grumbled out, surprisingly perceptive despite his voice still holding a distinct drunken slur.

“If you’re sick on my shoes I’ll make you clean it up with your tongue.” Levi still threatened, glaring uselessly at the other.

Eren chuckled slightly, whole body shaking, before he groaned again.

“Don’t make me laugh. Hurts.” He whined, legs scrunching up awkwardly.

“You’ll get some infectious disease lying on that floor. Or an STI.”

“Don’t care.” Eren sniffed.

Levi stared at him a moment longer, before deeming it both not worth his time nor directly about to effect his person. Straightening up, he used a pen to push Eren’s bag further to his side of the table rather than in the middle, before resuming his note taking as if everything was normal.

He managed to sit there for another half an hour before the smell of cheap beer got to him and he sent the tabletop a glare. Packing up his stuff, he pushed back his chair to stand, only to feel something keeping his right foot still. Looking under the table once more, he saw Eren had moved slightly, one of his arms now looped around his foot and his face mere inches from it.

It was both disgusting and slightly adorable.

“Oi.” He slowly raised his foot, trying to be slightly considerate of the guy. When he didn’t get a reaction he quickly wrenched his foot free, a loud snort coming from Eren in surprise.

“What?” Eren asked, looking around, disorientated.

“You were holding my foot like a stuffed toy.” Levi said dryly.

“Oh, sorry.” Eren mumbled, rolling onto his back and pushing up his sunglasses to rub at his eyes.

“You shouldn’t rub your eyes.” Levi said automatically.

“Why?” Eren yawned, continuing to rub.

“You’ll get wrinkles.” Levi answered, belatedly realising what a stupid thing that was to say.

Eren paused and took his hands away from his eyes in order to squint up at Levi curiously.

“I don’t think that’s actually true.” He said slowly.

Levi glared, refusing to admit to the embarrassment that filled his gut. Opting not to answer, he stepped back, reaching out to sling his bag over his shoulder and leave.

“Hey, wait, where’re you going?” Eren asked, scrambling out from under the desk, all too long limbs and awkwardness.

“I can’t do anything here with you snoring away and stinking up the place.” Levi began making his way around the bookshelf.

Eren, to his surprise, immediately grabbed his own bag and began following.

“Hey, don’t be mean.” His voice was teasing and Levi could just make out a small smile from the corner of his eye.

“Don’t follow me.” He snapped.

“Mean again,” Eren chirped, suddenly seaming a lot more like his usual self.

“I thought you were hungover?” Levi sighed, his tall shadow following him down the numerous flights of stairs.

“Eh, the panadol has finally kicked in. It’s more of a vaguely nauseous feeling now and my head only kinda hurts.” He shrugged. “Once I get some greasy food in me I’ll be good to go.”

Levi actually stopped walking and turned to face the other, face pulled in a grimace.

“By lunch I hope you mean you’re heading back to your no doubt filthy dorm room to boil water for ramen noodles?”

Eren gave him a funny look before grinning widely.

“Nope, I’m going to the refect where, judging on your horrified face, is where you’re going. We can dine together!” He laughed loudly, earning some nasty glares from the library patrons; though it wasn’t like they were on a quiet study floor so really they couldn’t complain.

Levi resisted the urge to make a run for it. With those long legs, there was no way he could outrun the other, even if they were sporting the ends of a hangover.

Stupid tall idiot.

“Go take a shit.” Levi turned on his heel and hurried away, hoping that Eren would just magically disappear. He thought it was really happening for a moment when he didn’t hear accompanying footsteps, but the sound of sniggers and hurried shuffling quickly killed that dream and Eren was once more by Levi’s side as they walked.

Twenty minutes later found Levi sitting at a table, food before him, Eren sitting across from him still going on about how he was pretty sure a chick in one of his psych classes was cheating in their last exam.

Seriously, how was this Levi's life?

"Did you grow up in a barn?" He asked, half serious as Eren managed to drop almost half the filling of the breakfast sandwich he'd bought. He was waved off with another of those annoyingly amused and attractive smiles, though nothing could stop Levi's nose from scrunching when he watched Eren use his fingers to pick up the fallen filling and shove it in his mouth.

"Don't waste food, my mum always says."

"Don't eat like an animal, mine said." Levi replied, earning himself a snicker.

"Yeah, I can totally see how well that stuck in your head." He nodded to Levi's immaculately clean eating space, his chopsticks not having dropped a single grain of rice.

Levi wondered if he should be slightly insulted by the comment, but a loud exclamation of his name prevented the words from leaving his mouth, a groan finding its way out instead as he slumped slightly.

"Friend of yours?" Eren asked in amusement as Hange rushed over to their table, waving like a lunatic and almost knocking a guy over in their haste.

"Levi, I'm so glad I caught you." They grinned as they reached the table, immediately throwing their arms around Levi like they'd not seen him in years as opposed to when they'd groggily waved him off that morning from the small table in the kitchen, preoccupied with their coffee mug.

"What do you want?" Levi asked, already exasperated with them. His nerves, which had been more highly strung than usual in the presence of Eren, were beginning to frey with the added contact.

Hange, however, seemed to have just noticed Eren sitting in amusement at the table.

"Oh, hello there pretty boy. I'm Hange. You wouldn't happen to be actually sitting here with Levi, would you?" They leaned over Levi, forcing his face uncomfortably close to his food.

"Get off, Shitty Glasses." He growled.

"Eren. Is that an unusual occurrence?" Eren asked, amusement lacing his voice.

"Almost completely unheard of. Levi's charm usually drives people off in two minutes flat." Hange grinned unrepentantly as they pulled away from Levi at last.

Levi glared at the both of them for good measure.

"Was there actually a reason for you forcing your presence on me?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, right." Hange suddenly gave him a sly grin. "I have something you want." They said in a singsong.

"I seriously doubt that." Levi immediately shot back; turning to his neglected food in the hopes they'd give up and leave him alone.

"Levi, I'm serious this time. This is something you'll want." Hange poked him in the arm, hard, to get his attention.

"Not interested." He snapped, pushing away another attempt at poking him.

"Well fine then, be that way." They reached into their pocket and pulled out a USB stick casually. "I guess I'll just have to find someone else to watch this subbed version of The Wedding Game I know you've been dying to watch for months, with me." Hange let out a loud laugh when Levi couldn't stop his eyes from zeroing in on the USB stick like it was a bar of gold rather than a pirated, Chinese movie.

"Where did you even find that?" He asked, slightly envious as they were right, Levi had been looking for that particular movie for months now, but none of the versions he'd found had English subtitles, so he hadn't been able to understand much of what was going on. Body language and gesturing only got someone so far.

"What's The Wedding Game?" Eren suddenly asked, bringing Levi out of his happy thoughts of Asian romcoms.

Levi had a sinking feeling as he looked across the table at the attractive guy who had been strangely forcing his company on him for the last few weeks. There would be no way he would think to give Levi the time of day if he knew about Levi's unusual obsession with Asian Cinema. If anything, Eren looked like he played a lot of American sport and was probably an avid viewer of reality TV or something.

Levi opened his mouth to tell Eren to mind his own business, Levi did not want to reveal his strange hobbies to him thank you very much, but Hange's loud voice spoke out over the top of his.

"Levi here has a particular fancy for Asian Cinema; particularly their overly dramatic romcoms and martial art spectacles. I'm pretty sure that he owns every single one of Jackie Chan's movies, including the ones he did before he was famous." Hange gripped Levi's shoulder tightly, in a way Levi wasn't sure was meant to be supportive or to keep him in place should he try to flee.

"Asian cinema; I don't suppose you mean anime then?" Eren asked with a slightly sheepish smile.

Hange laughed.

"You should come over to our place this Friday and watch the film with us." They suddenly said, causing Levi to freeze with his food halfway to his mouth.

"What?" He choked out.

"It'll be fun. We'll make popcorn and you can watch your first non anime Asian film."

Levi stared hard at Eren, hoping his telepathic message of 'don't you dare agree to that!' Would get through. From the amused smile directed back at him, he didn't hold out too much hope.

"Sure, I'd love to." He said cheerfully, making Levi want to hit his head on the table, repetitively, and violently.

Pushing to his feat, Levi abandoned his food and headed for the door, giving a one-finger salute when Hange called out to him.

He managed to make it out of the Refect and turned towards his home when suddenly his arm was grabbed from behind. Spinning around quickly in surprise, adrenaline shooting through his veins, he saw Eren’s large smile and wide eyes.

“Hey, so I was just thinking,” Eren started, hand still on Levi’s arm. “I have a pretty shit sense of direction, so could I grab your number or something so that I can call you for help if I end up lost on my way to your place?”

Eyes flicking down to the warmth spreading through his limb, Levi reached into his pocket almost mindlessly as his heart sped up, beating against his rib cage like it was going to burst free at any moment. Bringing out his phone, he held it out, a mixture of relief and a small sense of loss filling him when Eren let go of his arm in order to take the phone and put his number into it.

Mind on autopilot, Levi took his phone back after Eren had finished, before turning on his heel and striding away quickly.

“See you later, Levi!” Eren called out.

Levi didn’t respond.

~*~

The cleaning regime Levi went through that Friday before Eren was to come over was almost of biblical proportion. He even went so far as to skip the normal study session he had scheduled and instead spent his time with a soapy cloth, bent over the floor cleaning every surface he could get to.

He may or may not have even kicked Erwin out of the house when he’d woken the man up with his cleaning and the older had dared to complain about it.

When the time finally came, Levi found himself sitting on the couch, his stomach twisted up in nerves, his hands clasped together with knuckles almost white. It was ridiculous; there was no real reason for him to be feeling this anxious about some guy coming over to his place to watch a movie. It wasn’t even like they were going to be alone to watch it; Hange was bouncing around the kitchen with the Chinese take-out they’d ordered for dinner.

He winced slightly at the loud clatter, as they no doubt made a mess in his previously clean kitchen.

It wasn’t like he’d even been the one to invite Eren over in the first place.

There was a sudden knock at the door, and Levi pushed himself to his feet. He didn’t get more than one step, however, as Hange suddenly sped past him, their loud exuberant voice greeting Eren at the door.

Forcing himself to relax, Levi sat back down on the couch, making sure to push himself as close to the sidearm as possible without making it completely obvious he was leaving plenty of room for someone to sit beside him.

“Hey, Levi.”

Turning his head from where he’d been sightless staring at the TV, Levi took in the sight of Eren in some clearly old black jeans that were wearing thin over the knees, a shirt promoting some band he’d never heard of, hair styled slightly in a ‘casual’ mess that probably took too many minutes in front of a mirror and his blue green eyes lit up in the lounge room light.

“Eren. You didn’t end up lost then.” He said, turning back to the TV.

“Nope. I almost took a wrong turn at that cafe place two blocks away, but I remembered Hange saying something about it being the best place on the left, so I knew it had to be the other direction for that.” He rambled, sitting down heavily on the couch beside Levi, legs spread casually and one arm thrown over the back of the couch as he spoke, body turned towards Levi.

“How fortunate.” Levi said dryly, acutely aware that there was only a small pocket of space between where he was sitting on the couch and where Eren’s leg stretched out close to his own.

Eren snorted.

“Why do I get the feeling you kinda wish I’d gotten lost?” He suddenly grinned and sat forward slightly, leaning even more into Levi’s personal space. “Did you want me to ring you and ask for directions? Give you an excuse to talk to me.” He asked quietly, voice dropped an octave as he managed to capture Levi’s entire attention.

This close, Levi could smell the cologne Eren was wearing, some generic Lynx brand that, on any one else, Levi would have scoffed at. Sitting this close, however, Levi could feel his heart pounding in his chest, a warmth filling his gut as he stared at those eyes so close to his own. He could feel his hands trembling slightly, no matter how hard he clasped them together. For some reason he couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away properly, only so far as to stare at Eren’s lips for a moment before they locked back on his eyes.

“Hope you like Chinese!” Hange’s loud voice suddenly sounded from behind them as they entered into the lounge from the kitchen, arms loaded down with take out containers.

Eren leaned back quickly, his demeanour shifting into its usual carefree manner as he sent them a grin.

“Chinese is always a good idea.” He said easily, reaching out to help balance all the food on the small coffee table when Hange put it down.

“So, Eren, are you ready to immerse yourself in the awesomely terrible world of Asian Cinema?” Hange asked, sitting down on Eren’s other side on the couch, a box of Mei Fun Noodles in their hand and a pair of chopsticks ready.

“Bring it.” Eren grinned at them, leaning forward to inspect the cartons of food.

Shuffling slightly himself, Levi went to lean forward to get his own meal when Eren suddenly turned to him and, grinning brightly, asked what he wanted.

Surprised, he muttered out something about Fung Wong Gai before sitting back in his seat and accepting the carton, almost spilling it when he felt their fingers once again brushing against one another on the transfer. Trying to stop from squirming like he really wanted to right now, Levi tensed his muscles until he was sure they wouldn’t move and sat silently as Hange managed to get the TV on the right channel to watch the movie, the carton in his hand crumpling slightly under his grip.

It was going to be a long night.

~*~

After that night, it was like Eren was appearing everywhere Levi went. If Levi was working, he could almost guarantee he’d have Eren turning up at the shop at some point during his shift. If he was studying, Eren seemed to have somehow gotten hold of his schedule, as he was sure to join him. Even when Levi was eating in the Refect, more often than not he’d soon find himself sharing his table with the other guy.

Eren was around all the time, always with that big smile on his face, messy hair and gorgeous eyes. Levi wasn’t an idiot; it didn’t take four years of watching romcoms for him to catch onto the fact that he had a sizable crush on the other guy. It wasn’t the first time he’d found himself falling for someone completely unattainable, and not just because of his own issues.

There was no way someone like Eren would like him. Levi was well aware of his generally unpleasant personality, weird hobby of watching Asian films and his favouritism for shit jokes that no one else appreciated. Eren was clearly just a friendly person and this ‘crush’ of Levi’s was completely one sided.

Just because Eren had been texting him daily since that Friday two weeks ago didn’t mean anything, really. He wasn’t the only one Eren had been texting.

It seemed that Hange and Eren had also hit it off after that night. Levi had been subjected to watching as they laughed and joked together, Hange ruffling Eren’s hair with a degree of affection Levi was used to seeing reserved for only a few people. Eren had returned the gesture by poking Hange in the side every time they did the hair ruffle.

It was all Levi could do not to throw his food at them.

Levi knew that there was something not quite… _normal_ , about himself. Other people didn’t seem to have the hang-ups he did when it came to touching people and them touching him in return. It wasn’t exactly an _issue_ for him as he had little patience for most people and they tended to stay away from him in general. But it was something he’d noticed over the years that no one else seemed to have to deal with.

When his friends touched him it made his heart beat faster, and not in a romance movie ‘I’m falling instantly in love with you’, kind of way. More of a ‘my heart's beating so fast I think I’m about to faint, oh crap’, kind of way. It was only thanks to Levi having basically been around Hange and Erwin since he was in his early teens that he no longer felt so anxious when they touched him. Initiating the contact wasn’t usually an issue, as long as he wasn’t thinking too hard about it. Occasionally, however, there were moments when he went to give them a clap on the shoulder or grab their arm to get their attention, and he’d freeze up, his hand mere inches away. That tiny space felt like a huge canyon spanning miles and miles that he had no hope of overcoming. But then they’d reach out for him instead and it was like his body was released from whatever kind of frozen state it had been in and, while his heart might be beating slightly faster, life moved on.

Levi sighed to himself as he stood from his seat, his lecture over for the day. Slipping the strap of his bag over his shoulder, he made his way towards the door with the masses, thoughts turning to his plans for the rest of the day.

He contemplated if he had enough money on him to go to the Refect for lunch or if he was brave enough to fossick through Erwin’s leftovers at home as he walked through the grassy courtyard. He was mentally leaning towards braving Erwin’s leftovers, his stomach was iron clad and could definitely take whatever weird-ass concoction Erwin had come up with this time, when the sound of his name being shouted out distracted him.

Eren wasn’t exactly hard to miss as the brunette was bounding towards him like a madman, large grin on his face and one arm flapping about his head like there was any chance in hell Levi could miss him.

“Hi, Levi. How are you? Just finished class?” He asked, voice slightly breathless from the dead sprint he’d just done across the grassy courtyard.

“Yeah,” he said, scrunching up his nose slightly as the other guy all but bent in half, hands on his knees as he fought to catch his breath.

“Awesome,” Eren grinned up at him, straightening gradually as his breathing returned to normal.

“I’m just out here on a sun break with my friends.” Eren said, a hand waving vaguely in the direction he’d come from.

“Sun break?” Levi asked with a raised eyebrow, refraining from going to the easy - and slightly meaner - dig of asking how Eren could get friends with his personality.

“Yeah, gotta get that Vitamin D every now and again. Besides, it’s a good excuse to see friends and take a break from studying.” He laughed, and Levi had a stupid desire to mentally remark upon how attractive he looked, laughing in the sun like he hadn’t a care in the world.

“Hey, you should come meet them.” Eren suddenly said, jolting Levi from his mental berating of stupid thoughts that only belonged in sappy love novels and movies with picturesque lighting systems.

“Who?” He asked dumbly.

“My friends. They’ve been asking to meet the guy I spend my library study breaks with and who introduced me to Asian Cinema, not just the anime stuff.” He laughed like it was some kind of joke Levi should get, but honestly he was too busy trying to work out why someone would want to introduce _him_ to anyone.

“Come on, you’ve got no more classes today so you can spare some time.” Eren said, reaching out and grabbing Levi’s wrist gently before tugging him along as he made his way back where he’d come from, babbling away about something Levi honestly couldn’t care less about right now.

Not when Eren was touching him, his hand big, larger than Levi’s for sure. He could easily encircle Levi’s wrist with just his fingers if he tried. Like a chemical reactant, his heart started to pound in his chest and he felt something in his throat seize up, making breathing more difficult.

“Hey, guys!” Eren called out loudly, his free hand raised towards a small group of people sitting on the grass in the small amount of shade provided by a young tree. There were three girls and two guys, all looking up at Levi with curious faces, some more obvious than others.

“This here is Levi. Levi, these are some of my friends.” Eren proceeded to come to a stop before them, pointing to each one in turn as he introduced them.

“That’s Krista and Ymir, they’re doing psychology together, this is Mikasa, she’s doing science with a major in biology, and this is Armin who's studying history and language. Connie, Sasha and Marco are in class right now. Oh, and that’s Jean, he does Economics.” Eren’s voice clearly lost interest towards the Jean guy and the flippant wave of his hand just cemented his uncaring behaviour.

“Hi,” Levi remembered his basic manners, but to be honest most of his focus had zeroed in on the hand _still_ holding his wrist. What, had Eren forgotten that he was holding onto Levi like a child would their parent? How could he have forgotten? People needed to use their hands, Eren in particular tended to gesture wildly with his hands when he spoke, having resulted in more than one person being accidently hit as they passed by and one memorable occasion when he’d managed to knock his stack of textbooks off the desk.

“What the hell, Eren?” Jean, the guy Levi could remember Eren referring to as having a horse’s face was suddenly in front of Eren, pulling him away and the two quickly dissolved into an impromptu wrestling match on the grass.

“Eren! Jean!” The blond, Armin, groaned loudly, unintentionally assuring Levi that this was familiar behaviour between the two.

However, with Eren sufficiently distracted and his friends staring at Levi like he was meant to do something…

“Right, so, I have to go. Nice to meet you.” Levi pushed the words out, his heart still beating wildly in his ears as he turned and quickly walked away. He ignored Eren’s shout of his name, instead focusing on the food he was going to nick from Erwin when he got home.

~*~

Eren stared morosely as Levi took off at something just short of a run across the grassy courtyard. It had to be something he was doing that was driving off the other guy.

He was pulled from his distracted thoughts by Jean suddenly tackling him to the ground, Eren not able to position himself for the attack beforehand due to his attention being more agreeably engaged.

“Dammit, Jean!” Eren spat, pushing the horse-face off him as he sat up, his tailbone and left arm smarting from the impact.

“Jesus, Jaeger, didn’t pick you for someone to be so easily knocked over. You too busy staring at your boyfriend’s ass?” Jean sent him a smug look, like he was something special for working out why Eren could possibly be so easily knocked down.

“I wasn’t staring at his ass.” Eren grumbled, scooting over to where Armin was seated rather than trying to get back up. He was going to have bruises he just knew it.

“And Levi isn’t my boyfriend.” He added quietly, eyes trained downward and unable to keep the disappointment from his voice.

“But you want him to be.” Armin said quietly as Ymir started to loudly complain about the latest stats class she and Krista were taking and how hard it was.

Eren shrugged but didn’t answer, eyes fixed on his left arm as he poked the area that was hurting. Armin wasn’t wrong; Eren had felt the immediate attraction upon first meeting him and it had only grown since he had gotten to know Levi better.

But Eren honestly wasn’t sure if Levi actually liked him.

He had taken off pretty much as soon as possible just then. Levi also wasn’t big on touching, something Eren had never really encountered from anyone before. Sure, some of his friends like Ymir were less likely to initiate the contact, but she was still enthusiastic enough when it came down to hugs. Levi always tensed up when Eren touched him. He looked like he was extremely uncomfortable with the physical contact. Eren had thought maybe he was just like that with everyone, but he’d seen Levi interacting with Hange and the guy didn’t seem to have much of an issue when it came to them.

What if it was just Eren? What if Levi really didn’t like Eren at all and he was just too polite to say anything?

Well… okay, Levi being too polite to not tell someone to piss off was unlikely, but there was definitely something going on there.

“Man, I don’t know if he really likes me all that much, to be honest.” Eren mumbled eyes still trained on his arm.

“He’s a dick.” Mikasa suddenly said, causing Eren to look up at her in surprise. He hadn’t even been aware she was listening to them.

“Mikasa,” Armin sighed, the familiar tone that said she was doing something wrong but he couldn’t be bothered to reprimand her, as she never listened.

“Look, Eren,” Armin reached out and grasped his uninjured arm with an encouraging smile on his face.

“I’m pretty sure he’s just shy. He was blushing pretty badly when you were bringing him over here.” Armin gave his arm a small squeeze.

“Really?” Eren was surprised, as he hadn’t noticed anything. Then again, he’d been more focused on the excitement he’d felt at introducing the guy he liked to his friends.

“I wouldn’t lie.” Armin said.

“You shouldn’t waste your time on a guy who's not willing to openly show you affection.” Mikasa was frowning.

“I really like him, Mikasa. Levi is, he’s not like anyone I’ve ever met before.” Eren said seriously, surprising himself with his honesty.

“Then man the fuck up and ask the guy out, moron.” Jean suddenly said loudly, almost causing Eren to jump slightly as he hadn’t realised the dick was paying any attention to their conversation. Then again, Mikasa was there and Jean had always been highly attuned to anything she was doing, despite the fact he was clearly crushing on Marco like it was going out of fashion.

“I don’t really think you’re in any position to say that to me, horse-face.” Eren snapped.

Jean flushed red, clearly making the connection, and took a step towards Eren like he wanted to hit him.

“Calm down, Jean.” Armin continued to play peacekeeper.

“No, I’ve gotta get going anyway.” Eren pushed himself to his feet, slinging his bag over his head and sending an angry looking Jean a slightly amused look.

With a quick wave, Eren left for his next class, which was actually in half an hour, but he’d wanted to get away from his friends for a bit and think. Had Levi really been blushing of all things when he’d touched him? Levi honestly didn’t seem to like him a lot of the time, and only responded to the many texts Eren sent him half the time. Sure, a lot of them were inane and many of Levi’s responses were actually telling Eren to stop texting him random shit. But, Eren supposed, at least it was some kind of response.

He was so busy thinking about it that he almost walked right into Hange when they stopped in front of him with a huge smile.

“Having some deep thoughts there, Eren?” They asked with a loud laugh as he stumbled slightly in an effort not to walk into them.

“Christ, Hange, sorry.” Eren babbled, embarrassed.

“What’s got your head in the clouds?” They asked, glasses practically flashing in the sunshine.

“Ah, I just saw Levi, actually. I introduced him to my friends…” Eren trailed off, once more disappointed about how fast Levi had left.

Hange, to his surprise, didn’t laugh like he expected. Instead, an understanding look passed over their face, tinged with the ever-present amusement.

“Let me guess, Levi was awkward as all hell and took off as soon as he possibly could?”

“Is that, like, a thing he does?” Eren asked, frustration leaking into his voice. “Every time I think he might like me he does something like that and I just don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair irritably.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, Eren.” Hange clapped him on the shoulder gently. “Levi actually really likes you.”

“Well, it sure doesn’t feel like that a lot of the time.” Eren grouched. “It’s like my very touch repulses him.”

Hange looked at him seriously for a moment before speaking.

“Levi has no problem telling people what he thinks most of the time. But when it comes to physical affection, he’s the shyest person I’ve ever met. It took him years to warm up to me and to not tense up to the point of hyperventilating whenever I hugged him. Sometimes, even now, he gets a little funny about it. Its’ just part of who Levi is.”

So, this was a _thing_ for Levi. He didn’t do well with touching.

“It’s not that he doesn’t want you touching him, it’s more he doesn’t know what to do with himself when you do.” Hange suddenly winked. “And I mean touching in every way.”

Eren let out a surprised laugh, his cheeks feeling a little warm but his stomach pleasantly filled with butterflies at the thought of ‘touching’ Levi like Hange’s wink suggested.

“So, he doesn’t secretly hate me?” He asked, feeling like a little kid but needing to hear it from someone.

“No way.” Hange took a step back and made a slashing motion before them. “He’s totally into you.” They grinned.

“Thanks, Hange. I really needed to hear someone say that.” Eren couldn’t wipe the grin off his face no matter how hard he tried.

“No problem. Gotta go, though, Eren. Science waits for no one.” Then they were off, weaving through the large crowd of students in a manner that ensured they bumped into almost every single one.

Eren turned towards his own class, feeling completely elated as he finished his phone out of his pocket. Shooting off a quick text about how he wanted to have lunch with Levi tomorrow, no excuse would be accepted, he didn’t even care that there was no way in hell he was going to be able to concentrate for his lecture.

~*~

Levi wasn’t quite sure, but he had a vague feeling that Eren and he might be… dating. It was completely ambiguous, and they never actually talked about it. Eren was just around all the time, talking and touching and if he wasn’t physically there, then he was texting Levi inane thoughts as they occurred or stupid pictures or little videos of kittens and stupid things his friends were doing or even just a particularly artistic piece of dog shit he’d seen on the ground (it had been disgusting and hilarious).

As if that hadn’t been enough, he’d been practically dizzy with excitement when he’d arrived for lunch the other day. Levi had briefly wondered if he’d gotten into someone's’ stash of drugs in those filthy dorms he lived in, but all thoughts of such a thing had fled his mind when Eren had grabbed his shoulders and leaned in close, their noses almost touching.

“They’re having an Asian Film Festival on the beach side this weekend. We are totally going.”

Between the thundering of his heart in his chest at Eren’s proximity as well as the excitement that he felt at the idea of a festival just for Asian Films, Levi had been virtually powerless to resist Eren’s seemingly relentless enthusiasm.

That was how Levi found himself at five o’clock on a Friday evening, peering over the barrier to the beach down below that was already quickly filling up with people as the event coordinators finished setting up the large screen and speaker system in the sand.

“Hey.”

Levi turned around to find Eren standing behind him, that stupid handsome smile on his face in the fading sunlight.

“Hi.” He said automatically, glancing at the large bag Eren had on his back along with the blanket he’d tucked under his arm.

“Let’s go get a good spot before they’re all taken.” Eren turned towards the ramp down to the beach, Levi following quickly behind.

There were just so many people milling around, though, that Levi quickly found himself beginning to fall behind the taller guy. Sometimes being short was a pain in the ass. He was just trying to twist his body around some guy who took up far too much space with what Levi was pretty sure was a hiker's pack rather than a normal backpack, when a hand he was quickly becoming familiar slid into his own. Eren gently tugged him close, before letting go to wrap his arm around Levi’s shoulders and, using his elbows and backpack, Eren pushed through the throng of people.

Levi tried to just concentrate on keeping his breathing steady as he was pressed against the living furnace that was Eren’s chest. He could smell that stupid Lynx brand spray Eren favoured and the cotton fabric of Eren’s shirt occasionally brushed against his cheek. He crossed his arms over his chest and squeezed his fists tightly in an effort to stop them from trembling.

Eren came to a stop at a reasonable distance from the large screen, space enough for him to let go of Levi and quickly spread out the blanket on the soft, dry sand. Flopping down onto half of the blanket, already rummaging in his backpack, Levi tried to fight back the slight feeling of endearment that hit him when he noticed that the blanket was too small for Eren and his feet were sitting in the sand.

“So I brought us some takeaway Chinese, hope you don’t mind but I got what we had at your place last time. I figured what better thing to eat than Asian food at an Asian Film Festival.” He looked up and Levi could feel his heartbeat pick-up without the idea of physical contact even entering his brain.

Sitting down with more care than Eren’s careless flop from before, Levi reached out for the container Eren held out to him and their fingers brushed. This time, nothing other than his already pounding heart happened, and Levi let a smile cross his face as his eyes met Eren’s beautiful blue green ones.

They stayed like that for a moment before a loud voice suddenly blared on the beach and they both looked towards the screen where they could see a guy standing with a microphone welcoming them all.

Settling down onto the blanket, the two ate their dinner, then used Eren’s backpack as something of a pillow afterwards. Levi had at first sat stiffly, but Eren seemingly hadn’t noticed or was excellently ignoring it, as he’d grabbed hold of Levi and pulled him down to lie beside him. Levi found himself lying on a blanket in the sand, his whole side pressed against Eren’s and said guys arm under the back of his neck and wrapped along his exposed arm. They were so close together that Levi knew if he moved his head to the left just the slightest bit his nose would end up touching Eren’s cheek. His heart had been beating wildly for a little bit, before he was pulled into the movie on screen and before he knew it, they’d watched three movies pressed together on the sand and Levi wasn’t having an internal freak out. In fact, he felt almost sleepy; a warm safeness that he usually only found tucked under numerous blankets and pushed up against the wall beside to his bed.

It was… nice.

When the night was over, they dragged themselves to their feet and Levi collected the rubbish as Eren shook the blanket of sand. Eren had then taken Levi’s free hand once more and they’d made their way back up the ramp and off the beach. They had then chatted about the films on the walk home, so much so that Levi was almost surprised when they stopped and he realised they were standing in front of his house, completely out of Eren’s dorm room.

“This was great, Levi. Thanks for coming with me.” Eren said softly, standing closer than usual and looking right into Levi’s eyes. He felt the traitorous warmth creeping up his cheeks once again as they looked at one another the in porch light.

A thought suddenly entered his mind.

This was the part where you reached out and touched their arm wasn’t it? In the movies, this was the bit where physical contact was needed to show you viewed someone as a potential love interest. This was what people did - what _normal_ people did. All he had to do was reach out and touch Eren’s arm that was all. Hell, he’d basically been snuggled up next to the guy for the last few hours tonight; simple touching now shouldn’t be an issue. This should be easy.

**_Why wasn’t this easy?_ **

Looking off to the side, Levi forced his hand to dart out and briefly make contact with Eren’s arm as he pushed out no doubt jumbled words to the effect of him having had a good time as well. He wasn’t quite sure the message was received, as he couldn’t hear anything other than the sound of his loudly thundering heart. God, Eren could probably hear it, it was so _loud_. His head was spinning; he wondered if he was going to pass out, he was pretty sure he wasn’t actually breathing.

He was just wondering if he’d ever been in a more embarrassing situation than passing out in front of the guy he liked because he couldn’t function as a _normal human being_ , when he was pulled from his panicked thoughts by arms tightly wrapping around him.

His face was pressed into cotton and Lynx filled his senses as warmth surrounded him. The arms were tight enough to ground him and, miraculously, he was able to take in a deep breath and re-establish himself.

He was standing on the side of a street in front of the place he called home. He had just initiated contact with the guy he liked, and rather than passing out from oxygen deprivation, Eren was standing there with him, arms wrapped tightly around him.

It was as perfect as he could ever remember his life being.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, but his heart had actually almost calmed back down to normal palpitations when Eren slowly pulled back, a soft smile on his handsome face.

“I’ll text you, Levi. Night.”

Then, with a final squeeze of his shoulders, Eren pulled away and turned to go down the street, headed towards the dorms.

Levi stood there for a moment before turning himself and heading inside, only to be startled by Hange suddenly jumping in front of him as soon as he’d gotten the door shut.

“Oh my God, Levi! That was adorable!” They squealed, evidently having been peering through the curtains like a complete and total creeper.

“Piss off.” He grumbled, his words lacking their usual force as butterflies still fluttered in his stomach. The good kind of butterflies, the ones that didn’t make him feel sick, but rather made him feel like he was special in some way only a few people got to experience.

“Aww, look at that smile on your face! Levi, you’re in love!” They practically yelled, jumping onto him excitedly.

“Hey, do you guys mind keeping it down?” Erwin sudden called out, voice sounding sleepy as he peered out of his room with messy hair.

“Erwin, Levi’s in love!” Hange said excitedly before Levi could do more than push them off him.

“Oh?” Erwin raised an eyebrow, but Levi just pushed past the human barrier that was his friend and made his way to his room. Shutting the door harder than was perhaps necessary, it didn’t succeed in blocking out the loud, happy sounds still coming from Hange, but Levi just moved to the small mirror he kept in his room to fix his appearance in the mornings.

Sure enough, there was a smile on his face and, even though his cheeks were red and he could see some sand that had somehow gotten onto the top of his right ear, he look… happy.

Levi wondered if this was what falling in love felt like?

~*~

Despite what Hange said, Levi was _not_ drunk.

He couldn’t exactly remember why he was at this house party with a bunch of university students he didn’t know. He couldn’t quite recall whose house this even was. But the important facts were these:

Hange was a liar about him possibly, _maybe_ , being drunk.

And Eren was at this party too.

That thought hitting him, Levi looked up from where he had been aimlessly staring past Hange’s head as they tried to talk to him about something that had almost exploded in their prac today. Eren was somewhere in this house and Levi intended to find him.

Standing up, he felt the world tilt dangerously to the side and his vision blurred for a moment before he blinked rapidly and found himself staring, up close and personal, with a cotton shirt. Blinking once more as if this would make everything make sense, he reached up to touch the shirt only to find he was still holding his plastic glass with rum and coke.

“Hey,” a warm voice caught his attention and he awkwardly looked up, only to find familiar blue green eyes staring back down at him with a handsome smile.

“You alright there?” Eren asked, pushing Levi up slightly from where he was apparently slumped over in Eren’s arms.

“Alright, yeah, hey, I was lookin’ for you.” Levi said, a small smile pulling up his lips as he reached out and grabbed hold of Eren’s upper arm with his free hand, both because he wanted to and also because the world hadn’t fully stopped spinning just yet.

“Oh, really?” Eren sounded amused. Levi wondered if someone had told a joke and he’d missed it. Not that he really cared.

“I want to sit down.” He announced, turning away from Eren slightly and squinting (it was important to remember to squint, it made things clearer) to try and find somewhere he could sit down and hopefully the world would stop moving quite so fast.

“Here, just behind you.” Eren’s hands were warm on his shoulders as he guided Levi back a few stumbling steps until he felt something hit the back of his knees and he allowed himself to flop backwards onto the couch, his drink spilling over the lip onto his hand as he did so.

“Careful.” Eren said, hand reaching out and covering his own holding the cup.

With some amount of difficulty, Levi managed to focus his eyes on the guy before him, Eren still smiling at him handsomely as he towered above Levi’s seated position. Allowing what was for him a very large smile to cross his face, he reached out and grabbed hold of the bottom of Eren’s shirt with his free hand, leaning forward in his seat so his could rest his forehead against what turned out to be rather firm abs.

“You right there?” Eren’s voice came from far away, Levi may have let out an affirmative grunt or something but he wasn’t sure. It was nice to be so close to Eren, smelling that Lynx smell that was amazing and never failed to warm his belly.

“Hey?” Levi felt Eren’s free hand run through his hair, which was also nice. He approved greatly of that and he should probably let Eren know. Somehow. Telepathy was a thing, right?

Moaning pitifully in protest when he was pushed back, away from his warm place, Levi sluggishly focused on blue green eyes that were much closer than before.

“How much have you had to drink?” Eren asked, voice still amused but there was a note of seriousness to it.

Levi blinked at him, hoping that he’d get the idea that Levi had no idea what the hell Eren had just said.

“Levi, focus.”

Eren’s hand was so nice and warm on his shoulder. He was always so warm. He was like a furnace or something.

Maybe he had a living sun inside him or something?

“Not quite.” Eren was laughing again. He had such a good laugh.

“Levi, how many drinks have you had?” Eren asked slowly, pulling their still joined hands around the cup into Levi’s line of vision.

“Hey, you found my drink.” Levi grinned at him. Eren was so helpful sometimes.

“Dude, you are so drunk.” Eren sighed, but Levi was more interested in finishing his drink now.

“I’m gonna find Hange, okay? Just stay here.” Levi leaned back in his seat and nodded absently, cup to his lips as he slowly finished off the liquid.

Leaning his head back as Eren moved off into the crowd of dancing and drinking students, Levi allowed his eyes to close and a sleepiness to settle over him.

When he opened them again he took note that the lighting was different, much more subdued, and Eren was back, he could smell him. Eren was half holding him upright as he sat on something soft, an arm around his waist and Levi would never admit it, but he was mostly leaning into Eren to keep upright.

“Warm.” He mumbled, causing Eren to chuckle slightly. Levi was so close he could feel the other guy’s laugh more than hear it.

“Take these and drink this before you fall asleep, okay. It’ll make you feel better in the morning.” Eren said, pushing something into Levi’s hand as he pulled Levi upright again.

Humming in agreement, Levi did as he was told and easily swallowed whatever it was Eren had given him, sure in the knowledge that it wouldn’t be something stupid like drugs. He was fairly positive Eren wasn’t into shit like that.

“Sleep?” He asked once the glass was taken away from him.

“Yeah, you can go to sleep now.” Eren’s voice was just as warm as the rest of him, and Levi lent into the other once more. A content feeling curling around his chest as he let out a deep sigh, the feeling of fingers running through his hair enough to lull him into sleep.

~*~

Consciousness returned slowly. Everything felt fuzzy: his thoughts, what he was lying on, the world in general. Yeah, clearly he had drunk way too much the night before if the best way he could think to describe the world in general was _fuzzy_.

Breathing in deeply, he cracked open his eyes, squinting in the morning light.

He had never seen the bed he way lying on, or the room he was in. But the familiar head of hair leaning against the side of the bed gave him a good guess that he was in Eren’s dorm room. The empty bed sitting against the far wall of the room further cemented this idea.

He moved to roll onto his side, letting out a small groan mostly from the effort such an act encapsulated, rather than any stirrings of a headache. He had a vague recollection of Eren telling him to swallow down some pills before he went to sleep.

The noise must have alerted Eren that he was awake, as the guy was turning around from where he was seated on the floor and offered him an amused smile.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked quietly.

Levi tried to make a sensible noise like, ‘okay’, or ‘fine’, but all that came out was a scratchy garble as he realised how dry his throat was. His tongue furry and mouth foul tasting.

Eren - the shit - laughed.

“Here.” Still sitting on the floor, he reached over to his bedside table and picked up the glass of waiting water before handing it to Levi. Pushing himself up with one arm and taking the glass in his other hand, his took a few cautious sips before drinking it properly when his stomach didn’t rebel against him.

Finished, he handed back the glass to Eren’s waiting hand and lay back down on the bed, not quite prepared to get up and face the world just yet.

“So,” amusement laced Eren’s tone. “How’re we feeling this morning?”

Levi made a noise he hoped Eren was able to interpret as ‘like I’ve not slept for a week and something nasty died in my mouth, thanks for everything you apparently did for me last night’.

“You were pretty, spectacularly, drunk.” Eren continued; earning himself a half glare as Levi’s other eye was currently buried in the pillow he was considering using to smother Eren with… too much effort though.

Eren just laughed, again, resting an arm and elbow on the bed, head propped upon his right hand. There was something terribly affectionate about the softness in his eyes as he looked at Levi, and for the life of him, Levi couldn’t bring himself to meet it just yet. Instead he looked down slightly, eye following Eren’s left arm that was resting on the bed just in front of him. He was positioned in such a way, that Levi’s left arm was curled close to Eren’s hand. So close, in fact, that it would be hardly any effort for him to take Eren’s hand in his own.

Levi knew from experience, that Eren’s hands were surprisingly soft. He felt reasonably confident in how well he now knew Eren, that the guy didn’t use any kind of moisturizer or some kind of cream to make that soft. They were warm as well, but not so warm that he’d had to endure sweaty palms.

He wanted to hold his hand.

It was so close, he wouldn’t even have to move his own hand, just stretch out his fingers and he’d be able to touch Eren’s skin. He’d be able to feel that warmth, right there, radiating onto his own skin.

The pounding of his heart hit him hard and he felt a hot flush of heat sweep up his spine.

Eren’s hand was right there, he just had to reach out and take it. There was little chance Eren would reject him, so that couldn’t be his problem right now.

His hand was _right **there!**_

Eren’s sudden movement caught him off guard, as deep in his own frustrating, panic inducing thoughts as he had been. The younger had pushed up off the floor and Levi suddenly found himself engulfed in pleasantly warm arms as Eren laid down next to him, their bodies touching the whole way down.

From the small pocket of space in which Levi found himself, short breaths puffing out onto Eren’s throat and the already dim light of the room was obscured further, Levi could hear soft words penetrating his panicked haze.

“It’s okay, I’m here, and it’s okay.” Eren was repeating himself over and over again, voice soft and soothing, as if talking to a child.

Levi felt some prideful part of him want to push Eren away, to snap that he didn’t need him trying to suffocate him and he was _fine_ , dammit. A larger, more needy part of his mind firmly told that prideful part to piss off, he needed this.

“Just focus on breathing, Levi. Follow me; in, and then out; in, and then out.” Eren’s voice continued in his ears, and he belatedly realised that the stupid hand that had refused to move before was now held in Eren’s own, half squashed between their chests. It would be annoying if it wasn’t for the fact that it helped him feel Eren’s own inhalations and exhales, slowly forcing his own breathing to match.

He wasn’t sure how long they lay there; Eren’s voice a constant murmur in the stillness of the room, his arms never once faltering in their protective and warm embrace. Finally, when Levi actually felt himself beginning to doze off again, Eren pulled back slightly, keeping his arms loosely around Levi, but far enough that Levi found himself forced to face blue green eyes.

“Hey,” his voice was soft in the dim light.

“Hi.” Levi whispered back.

“You know, I’m not sure what’s going on with this, but I want to let you know, it’s okay.”

Oh shit.

~*~

Sitting on the floor of his dorm, back against his bed that was currently occupied by the cutest guy Eren had ever seen, he allowed his mind to drift back to the night before as the sun slowly peaked through his half drawn curtains.

Drunk Levi had been a thing of beauty, even if it had caused Eren’s heart to hurt at the freely given touches and brushes of soft skin against his own. So, this was what Levi would be like if he didn’t get anxiety every time he tried to touch someone.

When Levi had seemingly given up for the night, draped over Eren like he was his personal blanket, Eren had called it a night as well and with the help of Armin, had awkwardly gotten Levi up so he could piggy back him to his dorm room - purely because it was closer than Levi’s shared house. Taking care of his intoxicated maybe-boyfriend, Eren had spent the night dozing lightly on the floor, bucket ready just in case. This was by no means the first time he’d sat with a drunken friend to make sure that they didn’t choke on their vomit in their sleep.

When Levi had finally woken, Eren couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed as the guy just grumbled slightly and took his teasing with an air of ‘can’t be bothered, whatever’. It had taken a moment for him to realise that Levi wasn’t listening to him, but was instead staring at the hand Eren had unconsciously rested against the bed in order to keep balance, the hand that was so very close to Levi’s own.

Watching silently, Eren could practically see the internal battle Levi was waging with himself, beautiful grey eyes locked on his target while the rest of his body seemed to have tensed up, he may as well have been paralysed.

Eren had waited quietly, patiently, for him to reach out and take his hand like he _knew_ Levi wanted to. But, when Levi’s breath started to quicken and his eyes developed something of a suspicious sheen to them, Eren threw caution and waiting to the wind, and swept up his hand in his own, pushing himself up off the floor and clambering onto his small bed with the other man, free arm wrapping around Levi and pulling him into his chest, the other still tightly holding onto his hand.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Levi.” He whispered, breath brushing over Levi’s hair as he did so.

“I can wait, I’m willing to wait until you can do it. I know you’ll be able to. One day you won’t even hesitate to take my hand, it won’t make you freak out at all. I can wait. And,” he tightened his arm around Levi, wanting him to be paying extra attention to his next words.

“And I promise, I can reach for you. I’ll reach for your hand if you can’t quite reach mine. I’ll take it and hold it for as long as you’ll let me.”

The clammy hand within his own tightened to an almost painful degree and the other curled against his back, Eren’s shirt pulling taut with the motion.

“It’s okay.” Eren whispered, content in waiting for Levi’s breath to even out once more.

The room was silent save for the sound of their breathing, almost soothing Eren into a light doze that was broken only when Levi finally found his voice.

“I don’t know what it’s called.” He said quietly, voice carefully enunciating each word, as if telling a secret. “It’s something that’s, that’s always been there, though, for as long as I can remember. The longer I’ve known the person, the less it bothers me around them. But, with strangers, it just, I can’t.” He made a frustrated sound, and Eren pressed his lips to Levi’s head in a silent kiss.

“I want to, sometimes.” Levi whispered, like this was a guilty confession he was ashamed of. “So badly, to be able to touch people like a normal person. I can’t do casual touches and even handshakes make me tense half the time. I just want to be _normal_.” Eren could imagine him squeezing his eyes shut as he spoke the last bit, furious at his body for betraying his mind.

“I don’t know why I can do it sometimes and other times I can’t. I want to, so badly, but it’s like my whole body freezes and then my heart starts pounding like I’ve been running a marathon, sometimes my hands shake so hard that I end up making my palms bleed because I’ve clenched my fists so tightly.” He lets out a small laugh that sounded halfway to a sob and pressed his forehead into the space between Eren’s collarbones.

“Why would you want to put up with that?” He whispered into the quiet, voice now slightly muffled.

“Hey. I told you before. We’ll work this out, and before you know it, you won’t be able to keep you hands off of me.” Eren injected as much humour as he could into his voice, hoping to lighten the dark mood that had settled over them.

“In the meantime, I’m going to keep reaching for you and we can just, take it slow, you know?” He rubbed his thumb over the back of Levi’s hand comfortingly as they continued to lie together on his shitty dorm bed in the semi-light of a new day.

“I mean it, Levi, I really like you and I’m going to wait for as long as it takes for you to be comfortable.”

Eren wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear the whispered ‘thank you’ against his shirt, but it filled his chest with warmth and made him only more determined to remain with this strange, but wonderful, man.

~*~

Levi frowned at the DVD cases sitting on his lap. He couldn’t decide if he was in the mood for the classic kung fu mastery of the old Asian Cinema or if he wanted to indulge in a heartstring pulling romance set in Singapore in the twenty first century. He was pretty sure Erwin was out for the night on a celebratory drinks for some group project he’d recently completed and Hange was meant to be at the lab late. That meant he could watch a sappy love story and not have to deal with the teasing. Well, Erwin just smirked like no tomorrow and Hange loudly commentated the whole way through the movie, but whatever.

Deciding on his romantic movie, he was just about to stand up and put the disc in when the sound of a key turning in the lock of the front door made him pause. It didn’t take him any longer to wonder who it was when the door was thrown open with a loud bang and Hange barged into the house.

“Levi! You’ll never guess what stray I picked up outside the house.” They laughed loudly, the sound of two pairs of footsteps coming down the hallway.

“Stray?” Levi muttered, leaning back into the couch in an effort to see over the back and down the hallway.

Upon spotting Eren’s sheepish smile, however, he relaxed.

“Hey, I know you have the night off, so I brought Thai food and, if that doesn’t sway you, this girl in one of my classes had this awesome looking Japanese film I thought we could watch together.” Eren grinned, holding up both the plastic bag full of food and the USB stick containing his movie.

Levi blinked, honestly surprised. After their… _talk_ , the other day, Levi had been weary of talking with Eren again. Worried that the other would treat him differently or, worse, change his mind about everything being okay. It seemed he hadn’t needed to worry about it after all, as Eren wasn’t acting any differently than he usually did.

“Ohh, date night.” Hange singsonged gleefully.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Levi asked pointedly. Hange’s grin, if possible, got bigger.

“I’m only home to pick up my notebook, I forgot it earlier. I’ll be out of the way in a minute.” They waved a hand carelessly over their shoulder as they continued on down the hallway to their room.

Handing over the USB, Eren got started unpacking the food as Levi plugged in the movie. Turning back to the couch, Levi eyed it for a moment before taking a deep breath and sitting down near the middle. The combination of both their weight near the centre caused gravity to take hold and Levi found himself pressed again Eren from hip to knee.

Ignoring the heat he felt under his collar, Levi focused on the food and the movie as he clicked the buttons to get it to play. If Levi found himself scrubbing clean any spill with more vigour than usual, and Eren couldn’t keep the smile off his face even when it was revealed the main character’s father had died, well.

Neither one of them said anything.

~*~

The next few weeks passed in a similar manner, with Eren seeking out Levi and spending time together. Eren would get close, so close, and wait, patient as Levi tried to reach out for him. Sometimes, he managed it, to reach out with fumbling, awkward touches. There was a time when he was able to spot Eren across the grassy court, standing in the sun with his friends. Levi went over to him and managed to slip his hand into Eren’s with nary a moment's hesitation. The smile Eren had sent him was warmer than the sun. Levi happily received the quick peck to his lips by the taller boy, despite the catcalls that Eren’s friends issued them with.

But sometimes, when his heart beat too loudly in his ears that it drowned out everything else, or his fingers would tremble so much all he could think to do was clench them into fists, nails biting into his palms as he tried to hide it. Shame would swell in his chest like a hand grabbing his heart and squeezing tight.

But then there would be a large, tan hand reaching out for his clenched fists and gently holding them. Fingers would slowly uncurl his hand and interlace his fingers with another's. He would look up and meet warm blue green eyes, a small smile at the corner of Eren’s lips.

It was terrifying, allowing himself to be so close to someone else.

It was exhilarating.

It was amazing, incredible, more than Levi had ever dreamed it to be.

He wanted more.

Eren was so careful not to push him, so considerate of his limitations and boundaries. It was more than Levi had ever thought he’d find in someone else. But he liked Eren so much, he wanted more than hand holding and light kisses, more than being pressed up side by side on the couch as they watched Asian cinema movies and Eren tried to get Levi hooked on different types of Anime.

He had been thinking about it all week, mind wandering to it when he was supposed to be studying and working on assignments. He had even caught himself in a lecture, of all places, thinking about the other guy and what they could do together.

Levi had decided that tonight was the night; he was going to tell Eren that he wanted them to go to the next level… God, he felt like such a dorky teenager even thinking such a thing. But really, he wasn’t a better way to say what he wanted.

He knew that Hange would be at an all night study session with their science group and Erwin had the night shift at his part-time job. The house was all his for the night and he’d wasted no time in inviting Eren over for another of their movie viewing sessions.

So, now they sat, pressed side to side on the couch before a Chinese romcom that Levi had already seen and wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone what it was about with how distracted by Eren he was. Empty containers of Vietnamese food sat on the small coffee table before them, their remnants of dinner not yet cleaned up. He was tense, he couldn’t uncoil his muscles, and the room was unusually hot.

Levi glanced at Eren again from the corner of his eye, the other watching the TV and seemingly enraptured with the movie, his blue green eyes more green in the light of the television. As usual, Eren was a furnace next to him, the side of his thigh and hip burning up where they touched. His hand resting on his own thigh, so close to Levi’s own.

He was so close, all Levi had to do was reach out and grab that hand and he could start this. They were both guys, they didn’t need to have the big emotional scene movies had where they had a great big talk about what this was and what each of them wanted out of it. Levi just had to reach out and take his hand.

He couldn’t move his hand; it was frozen in his own lap.

Fucking hell, he _wanted_ this. Stupid mind screwing up everything!

Taking a deep breath in slowly, he held it for five seconds before releasing it, trying to relax his body enough to do what he wanted, because he did want. He wanted this so much.

He **wanted** this.

Finally, like a cable had snapped, his hand shot out and grabbed hold of Eren’s, sweaty and clammy and disgusting. But he’d done the first step.

“Hey,” Eren’s voice was soft, and Levi looked at his face, the television forgotten before them, merely muted lights flickering over their skin. “Everything okay?”

Levi nodded, then stopped and bit the inside of his cheek.

“I…” he tried, voice unusually timid.

“You?” His voice was calm, patient, as if he had all the time in the world for Levi to sit there and work this shit out in his head.

“More.” He blurted out, feeling ridiculous. “I mean, I want more of, of this.” He licked his dry lips, nervous. Eyes darting down to where he still tightly held Eren’s hand, probably too tightly, but it had been enough to take his hand in the first place, he didn’t want to let go now.

“More?” Eren asked, sounding slightly confused, causing Levi to glance up into those eyes again.

He breathed in deeply again, the familiar smell of that stupid Lynx spray filling his senses and calming his racing heart slightly. Mind focusing on his goal, he reached out his other hand and slowly took Eren’s free hand with his own before pulling it to himself and pressing their palms to his chest, over his heart.

“I want more, with you… if you want?” He added uncertainly. There was the very big possibility that this wasn’t something Eren wanted.

Oh god, maybe that was it? Levi would be the first to admit - if only to himself - that he had these stupid hang-ups that made him weird, and hard to deal with sometimes. Maybe Eren was just humouring him before, just being nice. Was this how some friends acted together? Surely not, it was too intimate. But then again, some friends bathed together, and Levi thought that was pretty fucking weird behaviour for friends, but they viewed it as normal.

“Levi,” Eren breathed out his name, pulling him from his straying, panicked thoughts. Eren’s whole attention was on him, his body turning slightly towards him as he lifted their hands between them. Gently kissing the knuckles of one of his hands, a small smile curled his lips.

“I want you, too.”

Before Levi could think Eren was in his space, lips pressed hard against his own, one hand released and moving to cup his cheek, pulling him closer. Levi snapped his eyes shut and lost himself in the sensation, his heart still pounding in his chest, but it wasn’t hurting or scaring him like usual. Eren’s lips were dryer than usual, but there was little time for him to focus on that as suddenly he felt a wet tongue swipe against his bottom lip.

A gasp of surprise was all the invitation Eren needed, and before Levi could think there was another tongue in his mouth, pressing against his own as he clumsily, instinctively, pressed back. He blindly grasped for Eren, fingers closing in the material of his shirt and holding on. They had only kissed sparingly before, mostly chaste and one small make out session that had been interrupted by Erwin’s return to the house.

Eren pulled back slightly and Levi took in a gasping breath, having forgotten to breath while he was being kissed. Opening his eyes, Eren’s were near glowing and his cheeks slightly pink, distinguishable even in the flickering light.

“Okay?” Eren asked, voice deeper than Levi had ever heard it before.

“Yeah.” Levi nodded, completely focused on the warm hand that slid from his cheek down to his neck, the other reaching out to rest on his waist. He was slightly jarred from his happy place by his body twitching as Eren’s hand came to rest, and immediately felt his heart thud loudly against his ribs as embarrassment started to swamp him.

“Hey, no.” Eren leaned back in close, their noses almost touching. “It’s all fine, I’ve got you.” He said, voice serious.

“That’s so freakin’ cheesy.” Levi couldn’t help but say, eyes darting away from the others.

“Good, I was going for cheesy.” Eren said, laughter in his voice and, before Levi could scoff at that, those lips were back against his, wetter this time. He found himself being pushed back onto the couch until he was half upright against the couch arm, body twisted around from where he had been sitting, Eren’s warmth seeping into his clothes from their numerous points of contact.

It was fucking uncomfortable, but Levi wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Eren wanted him, was kissing him like this was something he’d been thinking about for ages too. He was warm and comforting, even though Levi felt like a complete idiot who had no idea what he was doing. A thumb was rubbing, backwards and forwards, against his hipbone, his shirt having been pulled up slightly and fingers dipped below his jeans line.

Eren left his mouth and moved to his neck, tongue leaving wet trails before he lightly sucked on the sensitive skin there. Levi had to strain to prevent himself from squirming at the foreign sensation. What was he meant to be doing, again? One person sucked another person's neck, the person not doing the sucking did… what?

He stared at the ceiling blankly for a moment.

Hands - moved their hands. Right.

Not really sure what he was doing, Levi slowly, awkwardly, moved his hands from where they had both been gripping Eren’s shoulders. He slid one down Eren’s upper arm experimentally, feeling something in him relax slightly when nothing bad seemed to happen, Eren even let out a small noise that sounded almost approving.

Feeling a little bolder, he moved his hand back upwards, cautiously slipping his fingers into Eren’s thick brown hair, enjoying the softness he found. The continued backwards and forwards motion on his hip soothing his anxiety further.

“God, Levi.” Eren’s voice was warm against his skin, blowing over the wet patches Eren’d left behind and causing a shiver to run through Levi. “I never want to stop touching you, let me touch you, please?” Eren’s deep voice asked, pulling back slightly so that he could press another kiss to Levi’s lips before looking him in the eye, small huffs of breath skimming over his face.

Levi nodded his head, nerves stealing his voice. He wanted this, but it was new and scary. He hoped he wouldn’t freeze up when Eren touched him, how humiliating would that be?

Eren was back to kissing him, his hands becoming more adventurous as they slid down his body and began undoing the button on his jeans. Levi felt his hips give another uncontrollable twitch and his cheeks warm in embarrassment.

That wasn’t normal, was it?

“So hot.” Eren murmured against his skin, reassuring him slightly that, even if it wasn’t normal, at least Eren seemed to like it.

When Eren’s warm hand slid into his underwear and circled around his cock, Levi lost himself a little in the sensation, his hips bucking up into the contact. The feel of someone else's hand on him, something completely new and foreign, was incredible. Levi had masturbated before, the majority of horny teenagers had, but this was something he’d never done. Eren clearly knew what he was doing, turning and twisting his wrist in such a way that it made Levi gasp for air.

“Does it feel good?” Eren asked, kissing his cheek gently, completely at odds with the way he was stroking his cock.

Slitting his eyes open, and when had they closed again? Levi glared half-heartedly at him.

“Don’t ask me.” He hissed out between his teeth, embarrassed once again.

Eren laughed, sounding a little breathless himself.

“Do you, would you, uh, touch me back?” Eren asked, awkward for the first time since this had started.

Levi blinked and nodded his head; mind focused on the building tension in his muscles that signalled his imminent release. Vaguely he was aware of Eren guiding one of his hands to the others cock, and when had he found time to open his jeans and push down his pants? His skin was warm and slick, that familiar hard softness Levi could recognise. Tentatively, he tried to mimic the up down motion Eren employed, tightening and loosening his grip in a rhythm that usually worked for himself.

It wasn’t particularly graceful and it certainly was nothing like he’d seen on porn. Their hands kept bumping against each other and Levi was pretty sure that one of his legs was going numb because of the stupid angel it sat at, foot still resting on the floor. It was sticky and Levi knew he’d have to soak his clothes to get them clean again.

But it was also exhilarating, and as Eren mouthed kisses into his neck once more, Levi felt his body bow with tension as his climax crashed over him, leaving him no doubt with his mouth hanging open like an idiot.

He didn’t care.

He drifted a bit in the aftermath, concentrating merely on stabilizing his breathing before he eventually noticed the extra weight on him from where Eren had slumped after - he flexed his fingers slightly, yep - after he’d cum too.

“Heavy.” Levi finally said when it became apparent that Eren wasn’t going to move any time soon. He shifted, pushing up on one hand, the other held gingerly away from their clothes as it was covered in, well. Levi determinedly didn’t look at their hands, his forgotten embarrassment back and staining his cheeks.

“Sorry,” Eren said quietly, before he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Levi’s in a closed mouth kiss. “How do you feel? It wasn’t too much?” He continued; eyes trained on Levi’s face as if looking for any sign of discomfort.

“It’s fine.” Levi said - and it was. Honestly, Levi was surprised how okay he was with all this. He felt relaxed and sleepy; comfortable with Eren’s usual warmth still half pressed against him, though thankfully no longer obstructing his ability to breathe.

“We should clean up.” He continued after a moment of staring at the silly grin that had covered Eren’s face at his previous words.

Eren kissed his cheek once more before he was pushing himself up and off the couch, holding out a hand for Levi to take. Accepting the offer, the two made quick work of cleaning themselves up in the bathroom, Levi taking longer. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he found the television had been switched off and only his bedroom light was still on in the house.

“Hey,” Eren said when he reached his room and peered inside. The other boy was sitting at the end of his bed, a sheepish, lightly hopeful smile on his face.

“I was wondering - hoping, really - that I could, maybe, stay here.” Levi blinked at him for a moment, somehow feeling surprised.

“If you’re not comfortable with me in the bed I can take the couch, or if you really want me gone I can go and I’ll call you tomorrow or something?” Eren hurried to say.

“No, it’s… It’s okay.” Levi finally said, feeling shyness creeping up on him.

For fucks sake, they’d literally had their hands on each other’s dicks; he should _not_ be feeling shy about sharing a fucking bed.

Despite his thoughts, he was still careful to keep his back to Eren as he stripped down to his underwear, hearing the sound of Eren doing the same behind him. Finally, as ready as he was ever going to be, he slipped into the bed, keeping his back to the other as he curled up next to the wall.

Eren flicked off the lamp beside the bed before climbing in as well. There was a moment of tense silence, before Eren whispered.

“Levi? Can I hold you?”

Taking in a deep breath, Levi reached a hand back, bumping into the comforter that covered Eren’s body. His hand was taken and fingers interlaced, before Eren wrapped their arms around Levi’s waist and moved closer to spoon up behind him.

They had only done this a few times, and never before with the intention to sleep, but Levi found he was okay with the warmth pressing against his back. His heart was still beating a little faster than was usual, but he felt his limbs relaxing as Eren’s breath settled into a rhythm.

Maybe this was okay, after all?

~*~

Levi gritted his teeth, hand tightening on the glass bottle he was holding. Eyes trained on the scene before him, he felt the anger and jealousy twisting unpleasantly in his gut.

He would be the first to admit, after _that_ night, he’d been slightly apprehensive that Eren would more… demanding, of sex. But Eren had done no such thing. They’d woken up the next morning in the warm bed together and Eren had been a perfect gentleman about it all, just offering him a smile and reassuring words. He’d later left after they’d had breakfast with a gentle kiss to the lips and that was that.

Life had continued on as what Levi identified as normal these days. He’d have study periods with Eren, go to classes, have Eren turn up at his work every other shift and then they’d take turns buying dinner while watching either Asian cinema or Eren would be trying to convert Levi over to some anime or another.

Life was the exact same.

Exactly. The. Same.

It was like Eren was content to leave initiating everything up to Levi, like it was all based on what Levi wanted. Didn’t Eren want to do anything with him? Was Levi alone in wanting to touch the other guy, wanting to kiss him, wanting to do more?

Eren was being so fucking considerate about Levi’s occasional issues with touching that he seemed to have decided to make the intimacy level they experienced directly proportionate to what Levi initiated.

It was starting to really piss Levi off.

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate how considerate Eren was being of him. It was just…

He _wanted_ to be wanted.

Yes, Levi knew he wouldn’t always be able to do the things Eren might suggest, some days just the thought of physical contact could make his heart pound hard and his hands shake, but not always.

He was trying.

Trying really hard, to get over whatever his brain was telling him and enjoy the contact. Levi loved the softness of Eren’s skin under his fingertips. The warmth the other always radiated, like he had his own internal fire that eased the cold Levi sometimes experienced. He wanted to hold hands and make Eren laugh; to share space and fall asleep to the sound of the other breathing. He wanted more of the incredibly intimate feelings he had felt that night.

Levi wanted Eren to touch him like he was all he wanted in the world.

Maybe… maybe Levi was the only one who wanted to be in a relationship?

The shrill giggle of the girl currently leaning all over Eren, drunk off her face, cut through his thoughts and he tried to stop his teeth grinding again.

Eren had been going on about drinks with his friends for weeks now and Levi had finally given in when Hange had overheard and, delighted as always to have new people to inflict their special brand of crazy on, had begged to come along. Erwin had heard later that night and had said something about vetting the guy before he took away Levi’s innocence, which had resulted in Levi trying to punch him in the stomach as Hange laughed loudly, watching at the table as Levi tried to attack the evading bastard.

Thus, Levi found himself in the Underground bar, surrounded by people he vaguely recognised from sunlit lawns, his two housemates, Eren and some random chick who had decided Eren was a tall glass of water she was thirsty as fuck.

It wasn’t fair. This girl was all over Eren like it was nothing, like touching a complete stranger was as easy as breathing. She could put her hand on his chest and it didn’t make her heart beat fast and head swim like she might pass out. She didn’t have to worry that maybe today, touching him, would involve a huge internal battle with herself, one that could take so long that she’d just end up too embarrassed to reach for him.

It was so _easy_ for her.

Levi was standing beside Erwin - who was conversing with Armin about some professor they’d both apparently had at some point - and the wall their two tables were pushed up next to. Eren was across the table from Levi, but his attention was mostly taken up by the chick that was now pressing up against his arm, her top pulling low and exposing the ruffles of her fluro pink bra to the bar.

He was waiting for Eren to tell her to fuck off, that he was seeing someone who definitely didn’t have a fucking rack to shove in his face. Any moment Eren would push the girl away, would turn to Levi and roll his eyes before smiling that smile Levi liked so much.

Any moment now…

Come on, Eren, don’t-

_What the actual **fuck**!_

Levi couldn’t have looked away if he tried. The sight of some random chick, who he was pretty sure Eren didn’t even _know_ , pressing her lips against Levi’s boyfriends’ was seared into his brain faster than he could even process what he was seeing.

The moment seemed to drag out while at the same time it was over in mere seconds. Eren pushed her back, frowning, but she stumbled so much in her drunken state that he quickly grabbed her so she didn’t fall over onto her ass.

He should have let her fall.

Levi left his bottle on the crowded table before turning and quickly making for the exit, not wanting to deal with anything to do with anyone.

His heart was beating hard against his ribs and he felt nauseous. Escaping into the cool night air helped a little, at least he didn’t feel like he was going to overheat at any second.

He needed to go home. That was all he could think about. Go home and hide away in his room. Screw being brave, he was allowed to be a coward sometimes.

His plan was derailed after only a few steps by the sound of Eren yelling his name. He didn’t plan on stopping or even acknowledging that he’d heard it, but then there was a large hand grabbing his wrist and he reacted without thinking.

“Let go!” He yelled, free hand shoving roughly at a familiar chest.

Eren let go of his wrist, but he’d achieved his goal, Levi had stopped.

“Levi, I’m sorry! She just came onto me, there wasn’t anything I could do.” Eren’s voice was pleading, hands hovering just out of reach like Levi was some nervous animal Eren needed to try and calm down.

“Go away.” Levi shook his head, not interested in excuses right now.

The thoughts that had been building up in his mind for the past few weeks were overwhelming him. All he could see was that girl kissing Eren, touching him, Eren fucking touching her back. Even if it was to push her away, he was still touching her.

It hurt.

“Levi, please; come on. You were watching, she was drunk and I couldn’t just let her fall.” Eren made an aborted motion to reach out for him, and Levi felt something in his stomach fall.

“Do you even want to be with me?” He asked, rationality gone. “Or am I some weird guy you feel sorry for, so you put up with it?”

“What?” Eren was frowning now, eyes confused.

“I mean - you never try to touch me intimately. It’s always me who has to initiate everything with you. Do you even _want_ to have sex with me?” Levi burst out, voice much louder than normal and quickly attracting the attention of random students passing by.

“What the fuck, Levi?” Eren’s confused face shifted to annoyance, eyes darkening with the beginnings of anger.

“Is this a pity date for you or something?”

“No - how could you say that? I’ve been nothing but considerate of you since we started dating.” Eren snapped.

“Considerate!” Levi snapped, mind clouded as his heart was beating like crazy in his chest.

“Yes, considerate! You think this is easy for me?” Eren yelled, fully angry now.

Levi took a step back like he’d been slapped, eyes wide as his silenced fears became reality before his eyes. Eren’s words echoed in his head, something burning lodged in his throat as he stared at the angry man before him.

Levi knew, had always known, really, that if he ever did find someone who was willing to date him, weird issues and all, that there was going to be a point in which it became too hard for them and they’d give up. It wasn’t fair of him to expect someone else to have to navigate around his problems all the time. They were his burden to bear; no one else would want to put up with it.

He’d thought, hoped, really, that Eren might not see it that way.

But Levi was just being selfish.

Eren seemed to deflate before his eyes in response to Levi’s own silence, eyes wide in surprise at his own words.

“Levi, I, I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s fine.” Levi pushed the words out like they were shards of broken glass, ripping his throat bloody as he did so. He began to back away, not wanting to be near Eren at the moment, his mind in turmoil.

“Levi-”

“I’m going to go.” Turning on his heel, Levi walked as fast as he could without it being perceived as running. He didn’t stop until he’d managed to get home, inside, and into his room.

Shutting the door firmly, he moved to his bed and sat down, staring blankly at the shadowed wall across from him, the streetlights outside his only source of light.

This was it. His nightmare realised. A person he cared about, more than he’d ever cared about anyone else before, had given up on him because it was too hard. Being intimate with him was too much of a struggle. Being with him was a burden.

Slumping down onto his side, he wrapped his arms around himself and curled his legs in close, before he drew in a shaky breath.

It was over.

_“You think this is easy for me?”_

Levi cried.

*

He didn’t see Eren all weekend.

Hange tried to talk to him about it once, but one look at his pitiful state when they’d peeked into his room seemed to have caused a change of heart. If Levi didn’t feel so completely shit about it all, that would’ve been something to remember for the future when they were driving him up the wall. As it was, between them and Erwin, they didn’t say much to him but did make regular deliveries of food to his room.

He supposed it was nice to know some people cared.

He’d turned his phone off after the incessant buzzing of phone calls and text messages had woken him up for the third time. He just wanted to be left alone. Alone was what life had been before Eren and it was what it’d return to when Eren officially ended their relationship.

If Levi chose to not make contact with the other guy in a futile effort to prolong the illusion a little bit longer, well, that was nobody’s business but his own.

He’d even gone so far as to call in sick to work, something he never did, just on the off chance that Eren might think to ambush him there. Levi was pretty sure that crying at work was the height of embarrassment.

However, no amount of heartache could stop Monday from arriving, and Levi had exams coming up soon and so had no choice but to pull himself together and get to class.

The day progressed as it normally did, with classes in the morning, a quick snack, then study in the library until his afternoon class. Of course, going to the library would open up a high probability of him running into Eren, they did study together every Monday.

Levi did contemplate not going, taking the extra time it would take to walk home to study as a reasonable sacrifice. But, he’d already run away once, he wasn’t about to do it again. Besides, if Eren wanted to breakup with him, it was time to stop pretending and just get it over with.

He lasted half an hour sitting in his spot in Rose Library, staring at his notes while his mind was swinging wildly between wanting Eren to show up and not wanting to see him. Sighing loudly, he gave up on study and leaned back in his chair, about to pack up his things and leave, when the object of his thoughts rounded the bookshelf.

A part of Levi was pleased to note that Eren didn’t look all that great, his hair messy from frustrated hands running through it, his clothes looking rumpled like he’d slept in them. Even his messenger bag wasn’t closed properly and a bunch of loose papers were sticking out of it, one strong gust of wind away from freedom.

“Hey,” Eren’s voice was rough sounding; frown on his face and eyes somehow dimmer than usual.

“Hi.” Levi forced out, frozen in his seat as Eren approached and sat down opposite from him, as usual.

Silence stretched out between them, Levi determinedly staring at his notebook still open on the tabletop. Although it was the same distance between them as usual, it had never felt so unfathomably difficult to cross before.

What was he meant to say?

“Levi, I’m sorry.” Eren’s soft voice cut through his internal thoughts, causing his eyes to automatically look up and connect with the pair across from him.

“I didn’t even know who that girl was, and I hated that she was all over me. I told her I had a boyfriend already, but she just didn’t seem to care.” Eren let out a frustrated sigh, hand rising to run through his hair in a familiar motion.

“It’s not, I mean I - urgh - you’re not something I have to put up with.” Eren looked at him, determination in his eyes. “I’m dating you because I like you and, as I said, any kind of challenge we face we’ll do it together. I don’t care that you’re a little screwed up; we all are, just in different ways. I, Levi, I love you!”

Levi blinked, dumbfounded. Apparently, he’d completely read the entire situation wrong. He’d been expecting Eren to break up with him, gently if he was lucky. This, as far as he was aware, was very much _not_ a breakup.

“Oh.” Was all he managed to get out, mind caught up on the last three words Eren had, rather loudly, blurted out.

“Shit, this wasn’t how I was going to do it. I had a plan, a really good one involving Italian food and that stupid film set in Bangkok that you like so much.” Eren’s cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, and if he ran his hand through his hair any harder Levi was a little concerned he’d pull it all out.

Eren… loved him?

Eren suddenly stopped moving and looked at Levi intently, expectantly, a hint of apprehension on his face.

“You’re, uh, are you going to break up with me?” He asked, voice unusually small.

Levi felt shock run up his spine before he was leaning forward in his seat, just short of reaching out for Eren’s hand.

“I thought you’d be breaking up with me.” He quietly confessed.

“What? No, I, I love you.” Eren shook his head.

“I thought that, maybe, you were just dating me because you felt sorry for me. I know I’m hard to get along with a lot of the time, and you never initiated anything with me. So, maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see…” Levi trailed off, eyes once more finding his notebook. His hands clenched into fists as he gritted his teeth together.

“Levi, no. Hey, look at me, please?” Eren’s voice became soft, and Levi found his eyes straying upwards like answering a sirens call. When grey finally met blue green, Eren gave him a soft smile.

“I know that you can’t always express yourself how you might want, but that’s okay. I didn’t realise I was making you insecure by leaving it all up to you. I told you before; I’ll wait for you to be ready for things, but I definitely want to do things with you. You’ve no idea how happy being with you makes me. I can only hope that you feel the same about me…”

Breathing in slowly through his nose, Levi took in his slightly accelerated heart rate and sweaty palms, before reaching out slowly for where Eren’s hand was on the table. Slipping his fingers around Eren’s larger hand, the other immediately turned his hand so that they could interlace their fingers.

“I…” Levi cleared his throat, his mouth dry. “I l-love you, too.” He whispered, chest feeling fit to burst with emotion.

He didn’t even realise that he’d closed his eyes until he felt his hand lifted and gentle lips kissing his knuckles. Opening them, he blushed as Eren sent him his most beautiful smile yet, hand held tenderly within his own.

Oh god, he really _was_ in love.

~*~

Levi tried very hard not to psych himself out about his newest revelation. He knew how it went, you confessed your love for someone and then you had sex. It was as simple as that; many people didn’t even bother with the love bit these days. He always knew he wouldn’t be one of those people, not because he was morally against casual sex, but because he didn’t know where those people had been and they might be dirty or infected or something. Well, that and his whole touching issue. But, mostly, he viewed it from the lens of something of a clean freak.

Eren, however… Levi knew _exactly_ where he had been.

Eren had been in libraries; living room couches and on sun kissed lawns. Eren was mostly in the same places Levi was, their hands entangled more often than not.

Levi knew so well that he even knew what Eren’s cock felt like, for fucks sake. In his bedroom, late at night when he was sure no one else would hear, Levi imagined what it would feel like to _really_ feel that particular appendage.

He had been doing a lot of washing lately.  

Levi wasn’t embarrassed to say that he was still a virgin in university. He wasn’t frigid, just very particular and having to contend with more obstacles than being too embarrassed to buy condoms at the fucking pharmacy. He also wasn’t a stickler for religion and had no desire to ‘save himself’ for marriage. He wasn’t religious himself and, while he had no problem with other people deciding upon that course of action in their lives, it wasn’t one he shared.

So, sex.

It was a tiny word that encompassed a shitload of things. Feelings, physical sensations, emotions. So much.

It was scary as hell.

But Levi loved Eren, wanted to be with him like that, and he was pretty sure that Eren wanted him too. If his adorably clumsy fumbling every chance they got recently was anything to go by, then he was more than prepared to take their relationship to the next level.

So Levi did what he always did when needing to achieve a goal.

He planned.

It had been almost an entire month since they had told each other those three little words, since they had survived their first fight, since Levi had realised exactly what it was that he wanted with Eren.

As was their habit nowadays, Eren was going to be arriving at Levi’s for dinner on Saturday night, no parties or assessment due dates having waylaid them this week. Levi had made sure that they had the house to themselves for the night, having caught both his housemates at breakfast that morning and politely, but firmly, demanded that they vacate the premises until the following day. That may have resulted in knowing looks from both Erwin and Hange, the latter reaching out to pinch his cheeks while asking if he had any condoms - the shit.

Nevertheless, both had promised to make themselves scarce, and Levi had proceeded to clean the living areas and his room from top to bottom, nervous energy egging him on. He skipped his classes for the day, instead spending far more time than he was comfortable admitting psyching himself up so that he could enter the chemist and buy lube and condoms. He thanked his lucky stars when the service assistant seemed more interested in checking out the young muscle head who was inspecting the wall of protein powders like it was a quiz his whole future was resting on.

Supplies acquired and the house probably cleaner than it ever had been before, Levi was as ready as he was ever going to be for the night ahead… well, provided Eren was up for it?

Levi tried to very firmly shut down those thoughts. He would ask Eren if he wanted to do _it_ , and if he said no, that was fine. It would not embarrass the hell out of him and possibly traumatise him from ever asking anyone else for the rest of his life. Nothing like that was going to happen. That would be silly.

Levi was so fucking screwed.

As was the way of the world, the more he panicked about the approaching sunset, the faster time seemed to go, and before he knew it there was the familiar knocking at the front door.

Eren had arrived.

Despite his inner nerves, the night went along as it always did. Eren had brought food - Vietnamese - and a movie had been put on the television, some anime thing Eren was fanboying about like it was the end all be all of anime. While Eren was his usual relaxed self, Levi couldn’t unclench his tense muscles and the points of contact between them (their thighs and arms) were burning like he was too close to an open fire.

The movie was hardly into the main plot and their food only a few bites eaten, when Levi took a measured, deep breath, held it for three beats of his very fast heart, and let it out. Looking over to Eren, he felt his chest tighten for a different reason at the sight of his boyishly happy smile, the television lights flickering off his skin and his hair adorably messy.

Levi was so hopelessly in love with this idiot it was ridiculous.

Rather than trying to use his words at the moment, that was important next, he reached out a hand that only slightly trembled, and rested it high on Eren’s thigh.

That caught his attention.

“Hey,” Eren was looking at him, eyes soft and that beautiful smile he got sometimes when looking at Levi spread over his face.

He leaned in slightly, head angled towards Levi, waiting for him to take the final step, to say that yes, this was what he had been hoping for. Levi wasted no more time leaning over himself, their lips pressing together in what was becoming a familiar, though no less exciting, connection.

The movie was quickly forgotten on the screen and their food began cooling on the small coffee table. Neither of them cared.

Levi felt himself losing a sense of time and place as Eren’s hands moved over his body, sneakily slipping under his shirt and squeezing his bum in his jeans. One of his own hands found its way into Eren’s thick hair, gripping it gently. The other latched onto the back of his shirt, crinkling the material within his fist as a soft groan left his throat. Making out with Eren had quickly become one of Levi’s favourite past times.

They kissed for what felt like a long time and not enough time, before Levi felt the familiar motion of Eren beginning to kiss down his throat, his goal clear as a big hand dragged across his thigh before cupping his still clothed cock.

“E-Eren.” Levi gasped, hips bucking uncontrollably into that warm grip.

Eren merely used his free hand to push up Levi’s shirt and begin kissing and nipping at his stomach, still making his way south.

“Eren, wait.” Levi managed to push the words out, fingers in Eren’s hair tightening in order to get his attention.

Eren quickly pulled away, concern taking over his desire darkened eyes as he looked up at Levi’s face.

“Alright? Do you need a break?” He asked, voice rough.

Levi felt himself fall a little deeper in love with the man. He knew - without even a whisper of doubt - that if he said it was too much, if his anxiety in the face of physical touch was playing up. If he needed Eren to stop, no matter how turned on the other was, how much he just wanted to get off with his boyfriend.

Eren would stop.

“I, I want…” He could feel his cheeks burning and his heart was thudding so loud he knew Eren would be able to hear it.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” Eren asked quietly, leaning in slightly closer when Levi made no move to back away and giving his cheek a sweet kiss.

Levi felt something in his chest tighten as love fairly glowed like a warm ember in his chest at the endearment.

“More,” he whispered. “I want more, with you.”

Eren looked at him carefully for a moment, before a small smile quirked the corner of his lips.

“You mean you want to have sex?” He asked, blunt and to the point.

Levi pulled him close and kissed him, ignoring the way his hands had begun to tremble slightly as nerves snaked through him.

He wanted this.

“Yes,” he said, quiet but firm; his own grey eyes locking with Eren’s blue green ones.

Eren surged forward and pressed a hard, closed mouth kiss to him before pulling back and off him completely, hands clasping Levi’s as he stood and pulled him to his feet as well.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere more comfortable.” Eren grinned at him; looking so adorable Levi just wanted to keep that image of him in his mind forever.

Without bothering to do anything with the food or movie still playing, the two made their way down to Levi’s bedroom, Levi softly closing his door just in-case the others decided to come back early for some reason.

As soon as he turned, Eren’s lips were on his own, tongue pushing into his mouth. Hands quickly found his hips and then slid down to grab onto his ass, almost rough as they squeezed and pulled him closer, their erections bumping into one another through their jeans.

Awkwardly, they manoeuvred themselves over to his bed, pulling apart long enough that Levi could scoot up and settle comfortably on the covers while Eren scrambled up and over him, hovering for a moment and just smiling at him before the softer kisses of before returned.

Levi lost himself in the sensation for a moment, the way his body felt like it was overly sensitive and overheating, everywhere Eren touched seemed to ignite in a burst of sensation before settling into a pleasant hum of energy. The skin under his own hands was warmer than usual and becoming slick with sweat, making it hard to get a grip when their clothes were removed and they were lying in his bed, brushing up against one another and gasping in each breath.

“Levi, hey, baby, do you have anything?” Eren asked wetly in Levi’s ear, before giving his lobe a teasing bite.

Rather than answering, Levi pulled one hand away from where it had been hooked behind Eren’s neck and dropped it down beside the bed, hand seeking the plastic bag he had stashed under the bed earlier.

Eren grinned at him upon seeing it, giving Levi another quick kiss before rummaging in the plastic for the tube of lube and the box of condoms.

“Hey, you even got the right size.” He teased gently, chuckling when Levi felt himself flush in embarrassment once more.

He’d given hand jobs and blowjobs to that cock; of course he was going to get the right size.

“Shut up.” He muttered.

“You’re adorable.” Eren muttered, sounding slightly breathless as he pressed another series of kisses to Levi’s face and throat.

Levi felt he should defend himself from such a comment, as he was _not_ adorable. However, he was rather distracted by the feeling of Eren’s fingers, suddenly cool and slick, tracing down to his hole and applying gentle pressure.

Involuntarily, Levi sucked in a breath. Sure, he had touched himself there before; he had a healthy imagination and access to the Internet. But he’d never had another person touch him quite so intimately.

“Hey, you with me?” Eren asked softly, looking at him carefully for any sign of discomfort.

“Yeah.” Levi nodded his head, reminding himself to relax and breath.

Eren took his word and began focusing his attention on Levi’s throat, a spot of particular focus for him, his free hand supporting his weight on the bed beside Levi. For his part, Levi allowed himself to get lost in the sensations of being with the person he loved and was sharing his body with.

He must have zoned out for part of it all, too lost in how his muscles tensed and relaxed, the pleasure slowly beginning to build in the bottom of his spine.

“Levi, baby, Imma put it in now, okay?” Eren spoke between sucking kisses, his voice slightly muffled by how close he was to Levi’s skin.

“Okay.” Levi breathed, one hand falling to the covers of his bed and fisting them between his fingers as he tried to relax his body, to calm himself despite the nerves that had reawakened in his stomach.

When Eren pulled out his fingers, Levi couldn’t contain the small noise that left him, a strange sensation of being open and vulnerable settling over him.

“Eren,” he moaned, knowing that Eren was the only one who could make the feeling go away.

“Okay, okay.” Eren murmured, his focus having shifted to trying to roll on the condom mostly one handed, lube coated up fingers completely useless.

“Remind me to do this before anything else, next time.” He muttered, letting out a little cheer when he succeeded.

Levi couldn’t help it, a chuckle bubbled up and escaped from his mouth, causing Eren to stare down at him in surprise for a moment before a huge grin slipped over his own face.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh at me struggling here. No help, are you?” He asked, leaning over him quickly for yet another kiss before sitting on his knees between Levi’s spread legs. His clean hand reached out and stroked from Levi’s ankle all the way up, over his knee and just brushing past Levi’s erection before settling on his hip and squeezing slightly. Levi felt his hand relax slightly as the other moved up to grip familiarly at Eren’s bicep.

There were no more warnings as suddenly Eren was pushing into him, pushing the very air out of Levi’s lungs as he threw his head back, neck straining and unable to focus on anything besides the feel of Eren sliding into him, his cock hot and hard and _gods!_

“Le-vi?” Eren panted, sounding strained.

Levi couldn’t focus, his mind bulking at any thought he tried to think.

“Levi? Baby, you still with me?” Eren’s voice had taken on a more concerned note; he shifted closer to Levi, unintentionally pushing himself further into him. Eren groaned as Levi let out a high-pitched noise he didn’t even know the human vocal cords could make.

“Shit, shit, sorry. Here.” Eren panted, the hand that had been braced on Levi’s hip moving to encircle his cock and begin stroking.

Levi’s whole body twitched with the extra stimulation and he finally found his words again.

“More, Eren, please, more.” He moaned, cutting off in a little cry as Eren gave a tentative thrust of his hips.

“So good, feel so good, Levi.” Eren began, repeating himself as he babbled, mouth only silencing when he leaned down and once more found Levi’s skin to suck and bite at.

Levi tried to breath, but the air kept catching in his throat, his thighs twitching like crazy and he felt like something was coiling tighter and tighter inside of him. It could only wind so tight before it would break and release.

“Eren,” he keened loudly, muscles starting to lock as he felt his release rapidly approaching.

“That’s it, come on, Levi, come on.” Eren cried out loudly as he thrust as hard as he could into Levi, body shuddering.

Levi came as a sort of blacked out moment, he wasn’t sure what was up and what was down, his eyes tightly shut as he gulped in air like a drowning man.

Returning to himself was a slow process. He opened his eyes slowly, staring blankly at what he realised after a moment was the side of Eren’s head. Panting, he looked around himself slowly, realising that Eren had fallen to the side when he’d cum, sparing Levi the weight of him falling right on top of him. He could feel the occasional twitch of his hole, still stretched wide around Eren’s softening cock, little tendrils of pleasure sparking up his spine with each one.

Levi went to move his arms, but realised with some surprise that they had somehow become wrapped around Eren’s neck, now both pulled to the side where Eren lay.

Licking his lips so they didn’t feel quite as dry, Levi spoke.

“Eren?” His voice was wrecked sounding, like it was worn out.

He didn’t have the energy to be embarrassed.

“Hmm?”

Slowly, as if it took a lot of effort, Eren pushed himself up onto shaking hands on either side of Levi’s head, until finally they were looking eye-to-eye, Levi’s arms still encircling him.

“Hey,” Eren said softly, gentle smile pulling at his lips.

“Hi.” Levi replied, knowing it was completely cheesy and enjoying every moment of it.

They were _such_ a fucking romcom.

“Let’s get cleaned up and then cuddle.” Eren leaned down and gave him a sweet kiss in the corner of his mouth before pulling back completely, slipping out of Levi.

Levi tried to ignore the shudder that ran over his skin at the feeling before forcing himself to sit up, slightly cautious of the open feeling no longer being full of cock left him with.

“I’m pretty sure I remember a nice big shower in your bathroom. Let’s go see how easily we can both fit?” Eren grinned at him as he disposed of the condom in the small bin under Levi’s desk before holding out a hand to Levi.

Levi looked at him; at the hand that no doubt had all sorts of disgusting fluids on it, on the sweat drenched body before him and the slight sheen of still wet cum on Eren’s cock and felt himself smile.

Reaching out to take the extended hand, an unusual swelling of calm settled over him.

He loved Eren, and Eren loved him.

He was happy.

*

In the warm atmosphere of the Underground bar Eren took a sip of his beer bottle and let a small smile cross his face, eyes trained on the masses as he looked for one particular person. Connie jostled loudly beside him, laughing at something Sasha was trying to imitate, her act causing more confusion and amusement than any real storytelling.

They were all meeting at the Underground bar tonight in celebration of the end of exams for the semester. It had been a tiring few months, but it was finally over for a few weeks before they would do it all again.

His eyes were caught by the sight of Hange pushing through the crowds of people, not even looking where they were going as they talked to someone behind them, more mindful of the large glass of something in their hand then if they bumped into people. Finally, when they moved slightly to the left, Eren was able to latch his eyes onto the person he had been looking for since he’d received the text on his phone twenty minutes ago announcing that Levi was close.

He was as handsome as ever, and a breath of fresh air for Eren. It had been difficult to see one another as often as he’d like while they were studying hard for exams the last two weeks. They’d also been too exhausted and stressed to do anything else when they did manage to see one another than eat or sleep. While Eren was always eager for the intimate moments they had together - the sex was fucking fantastic, pun totally intended - he liked the fact that it wasn’t the only thing they had between them. Sometimes, and he would never admit it to anyone besides maybe Levi himself, it was nice just to fall asleep next to someone else and then wake up in the morning, their bed hair the first thing he would see and their still sleepy eyes telling him they loved him.

Eren was really tuning into something of a sap.

“Hey, you,” Eren grinned, pleased at the face Levi pulled. Eren wasn’t exactly sure what it was about saying hello to one another that seemed to slightly embarrass Levi every time he said it since they had started having sex, but the slight pink tint that always accompanied his cheeks when Eren did it was worth it.

“Hi.” He mumbled, quickly lifting his own glass of something, probably rum or whisky, something for adults, as he liked to say when Eren stuck with beer.

Eren grinned, affection filling him as he listened to his friends around them, greeting Levi and his two housemates enthusiastically, inquiring what people were doing for their time off.

Eren wasn’t yet sure what he was going to do for his time off, probably stay in the dorms and find a part-time job. He knew Levi wasn’t going anywhere for the break. When the semester started again, however, Eren was moving into Erwin’s old room, the sociology major planning to spend his next semester in France as an exchange student. While the idea of sharing a house with Hange was slightly terrifying, the fact that he was essentially going to be trialling living with his boyfriend filled him with excitement.

Levi was about to start his last semester and then he’d be finished while Eren still had a year to go.

Eren wasn’t saying that they’d still be together when he finished, that they’d get jobs in the same city and move into a house together and adopt two cats, one of which would be a grumpy bastard and the other an overexcitable klutz. That they’d have a successful few years of dating, only minor arguments between them, before Levi would get promoted and Eren would then ask the man to marry him. That they’d live together happily ever after, or as close as anyone could get to it.

He wasn’t saying that _exactly_.

But as Levi slipped his free hand into Eren’s, fingers slightly damp from his glass, only the slightest trembling to say that it had been a bit of a battle today, but Levi had won. Eren figured that it was a good goal to work towards.

 

fin.

 

 


End file.
